The Multiple Intelligence Theory introduced by Dr. Howard Gardner in 1983 is one of my favourites to explain the human nature and interactions. The traditional (western) take on intelligence is linguisticaly and logical-mathematically based. However that does not work for everyone, as there is obviously more variety of intelligences. Here is the Gardner`s classification:
Later on Gardner (1998) has nominated two additional candidate intelligences: Spiritual and Existentional ones, however he was less sure about how to define and incorporate them.
The theory says, a person has some of these intelligences highly developed, some less.
Out of my fasciantion for this theory I was observing my interactions with people around and came to a perplexing conclusion that my best friends are the ones with the same highly developed intelligence as mine (linguistic). Then I analysed all the happy couples I know and found out that – as far as I can obverse – both partners have the same leading intelligence! If we look at celebrity world, we can see that many sport stars go well with models (both being “body smart”), and in generally people of similar professions can coexist much better (assumed they have chosen their professions according to their leading intelligence and not to some other reason).
Could it be a good tip for those who are looking for a happy relationships? Surely, there is much, much more what makes a happy marriage/freindship/collaboration – but the mutual understanding seem to be based to a greater extend on the mutual intelligence. I think they call it “be on the same wave length”.
You can test yourself on your leading intelligences here or here. Please note, that Dr.Gardner was vocal about his disdain for a singularly psychometric approach to measuring intelligence based on paper and pencil tests.
The history of the West is heavily minted by Christianity as an organised religion. In particular, as far as the attitude to a woman is concerned. There is a number of facts that depict how this attitude developed and explain how did it come to the disrespect and abuse of the womanhood as such.
Paul declares: “those who marry will have torments of the flesh”. “Are not you tied to a wife? Do not look for a wife”.
The Council of Nicaea (325) decrees that man must not marry after his ordination as a priest. Pope Syrius (385) adds that after ordination, no man is permittedto sleep with his wife.
Augustine declares: “Frigidity is spirituality”. “Sex during marriage is only for those who cannot control themselves” The ideal would be no sex, at any moment and for eternity”.
The new study on the Ideal (Russian) Woman has been done in Mai 2008 by the analytical center of SuperJob.ru. Representative number of Russian man gave thier opinion on the female ideal. Interestingly a strong differentiation has been found between a wife and a girlfriend. The grafic shows the results in Russian, I will make a short English summary here:
Intellect (important: she should not show it off, but manipulate indirectly, in order not to hurt the man): girlfriend – 46%, wife – 29%
Looks (important: form of fingers and toes, nails, skin, hair, breast form, figure, lips, eyes, nose): girlfriend – 38%, wife -21%
Femininity (important: “she must be a woman, and not an ashtray in trousers”): girlfriend -12%, wife -5%
I used to swallow books afterer books when I was younger, but I can`t remember any describing a romantic relationship of a couple AFTER marriage. At least not as a main theme of a book. Does it mean there is NO romance after marriage at all? OR does it mean people do not believe in that? Or they do not find it interesting enough to write or read about it???
Even fairy-tales of many folks end up with the wedding ceremony. At least in the Russian and Western literature which I read. As far as I know it is different in Indian literature. Any information about African or Asian literature?
Thank you for the feedback. If anyone knows a good book on romance after marriage – please feel free to list it here!
Do men really inclined to forget their marriage anniversary?– that is at least what one can see in films or read in the books… Are they just more egoistical? Or simply because they are less “past-oriented”? (this is an argument my wise husband gave me).
In fact, that can be petty much true, for men are generally more future-oriented fellows (the subtle reason is that men are more on the right-side, towards future. Women – on the so called left side, past-oriented and emotional).
Whatever is the reason, I actually wanted to share with you this lovely videoclip by Abhay Sopori – Santoor Maestro Music Composer Dancing Dewdrops:
The modern trend of living together in a so called cohabitation or civil marriage has been recently taking over not only the majority of the Western countries but also of Eastern Europe and Russia.
I have been suspecting something wrong with that phenomenon but could not really explain why. You probably know this feeling: you are sure something is wrong, but a simple explanation (because it is not traditional, not natural or not successful) does not work with the modern civilised humans.
Recently I came across some studies giving the scientific proof and logical explanation for the unhealthy nature of that state of illegal cohabitation (yes, actually it IS illegal – simply because it is not “by law”).