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Supposition: why multiple intelligence theory can be vital for a happy marriage

Published September 21, 2008 by axinia

The Multiple Intelligence Theory introduced by Dr. Howard Gardner in 1983 is one of my favourites to explain the human nature and interactions. The traditional (western) take on intelligence is linguisticaly and logical-mathematically based. However that does not work for everyone, as there is obviously more variety of intelligences. Here is the Gardner`s classification:

bullet Linguistic intelligence (“word smart”):
bullet Logical-mathematical intelligence (“number/reasoning smart”)
bullet Spatial intelligence (“picture, space smart”)
bullet Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence (“body smart”)
bullet Musical intelligence (“music smart”)
bullet Interpersonal intelligence (“people smart”)
bullet Intrapersonal intelligence (“self smart”)
bullet Naturalist intelligence (“nature smart”)

Later on  Gardner (1998) has nominated two additional candidate intelligences: Spiritual and Existentional ones, however he was less sure about how to define and incorporate them.

The theory says, a person has some of these intelligences highly developed, some less.

Out of my fasciantion for this theory I was observing my interactions with people around and came to a perplexing conclusion that my best friends are the ones with the same highly developed intelligence as mine (linguistic). Then I analysed all the happy couples I know and found out that  – as far as I can obverse – both partners have the same leading intelligence! If we look at celebrity world, we can see that many sport stars go well with models (both being “body smart”), and in generally people of similar professions can coexist much better (assumed they have chosen their professions according to their leading intelligence and not to some other reason). 

Could it be a good tip for those who are looking for a happy relationships? Surely, there is much, much more what makes a happy marriage/freindship/collaboration – but the mutual understanding seem to be based to a greater extend on the mutual intelligence. I think they call it “be on the same wave length”.

You can test yourself on your leading intelligences here or here. Please note, that Dr.Gardner was vocal about his disdain for a singularly psychometric approach to measuring intelligence based on paper and pencil tests.

LOVE, axinia

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How to control your husband

Published May 13, 2008 by axinia

First of all, the best way to control anyone is to please. Surprised?  Really, it is the easiest and the most joyful way to control.

Secondly, men like to be controlled – that is why they marry.They want someone to control them sweetly and gently, someone to keep an eye on their lives and mood, someone to support them affectionately…

A wise woman can easily control her dear husband by following simple methods:

1. Cook good food – and NEVER talk to your man before he has eaten! I mean at least do not try to discuss something important.

2. Take care of his looks – mostly men have a poor taste and are very happy if someone takes care of their wardrobe.

3. And… my favourite one is  – give your husband a good head massage (daily if possible) in Indian style, with coconut oil. Why? Today we are all very busy with mental over- activity, men probably still more intensely than women. A good head massage removes the tension in head which every man person has after work. Normally one can massage 5-10 min, however my husband says “it can go like this forever” 🙂 You might enjoy the looks of your husband reminding this cat: 

 image by  CeciliaC

A good head massage both relaxes and stimulates, one feels fresh and light  – and becomes very comfortable for a loving communication.

Ah, yes – dont forget to make it look like HE is the boss 🙂

There are surely 1000 and one other great tricks, like the ones my dear friend Radha described here – whatever you choose it is only your LOVE that controls. For one can not resist the true love.

LOVE; axinia

Spiritual aspects of feminine beauty

Published October 25, 2006 by axinia

People want to be beautiful. People like others who are beautiful. People like beautiful things and places… But is it all the same? Spiritual people will call “ugly” whatever the rest of the modern world consider beautiful (fashions and everything under the slogan “sex sells”). The rest of the modern world does not understand spirituality and looks down to the people who value their inner beauty the most. But is there really such a gap between these two worlds? They seem to be so different from each other… But the word “beauty “is the same for both! So there must be some universal meaning, universal truth…

 Western tradition 

 The attitude to the feminine beauty, to the womanhood itself has a long Christian history in the West. The woman has never been that much seen as the beautiful creation of God. The more so, it has been since millennia deeply programmed by the priests that a woman is an evil herself, a torn on the glorious path of a man.

This disrespectful attitude to the womanhood had brought its fruits as a feministic movement in the 20th century, with all these millions of western women desperately crying for love and adoration… If we track down anything written about beauty in two thousand years of theology we can summarize the tradition into two statements: First, beauty is trivial. To most pastors and teachers, physical appearance has not seemed an important enough spiritual issue even to address. Second, should the matter come up at all, beauty is dangerous. 

 

Oriental tradition

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