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Supposition: why multiple intelligence theory can be vital for a happy marriage

Published September 21, 2008 by axinia

The Multiple Intelligence Theory introduced by Dr. Howard Gardner in 1983 is one of my favourites to explain the human nature and interactions. The traditional (western) take on intelligence is linguisticaly and logical-mathematically based. However that does not work for everyone, as there is obviously more variety of intelligences. Here is the Gardner`s classification:

bullet Linguistic intelligence (“word smart”):
bullet Logical-mathematical intelligence (“number/reasoning smart”)
bullet Spatial intelligence (“picture, space smart”)
bullet Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence (“body smart”)
bullet Musical intelligence (“music smart”)
bullet Interpersonal intelligence (“people smart”)
bullet Intrapersonal intelligence (“self smart”)
bullet Naturalist intelligence (“nature smart”)

Later on  Gardner (1998) has nominated two additional candidate intelligences: Spiritual and Existentional ones, however he was less sure about how to define and incorporate them.

The theory says, a person has some of these intelligences highly developed, some less.

Out of my fasciantion for this theory I was observing my interactions with people around and came to a perplexing conclusion that my best friends are the ones with the same highly developed intelligence as mine (linguistic). Then I analysed all the happy couples I know and found out that  – as far as I can obverse – both partners have the same leading intelligence! If we look at celebrity world, we can see that many sport stars go well with models (both being “body smart”), and in generally people of similar professions can coexist much better (assumed they have chosen their professions according to their leading intelligence and not to some other reason). 

Could it be a good tip for those who are looking for a happy relationships? Surely, there is much, much more what makes a happy marriage/freindship/collaboration – but the mutual understanding seem to be based to a greater extend on the mutual intelligence. I think they call it “be on the same wave length”.

You can test yourself on your leading intelligences here or here. Please note, that Dr.Gardner was vocal about his disdain for a singularly psychometric approach to measuring intelligence based on paper and pencil tests.

LOVE, axinia

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The Church down the Centuries: women, sex and child abuse

Published August 16, 2008 by axinia

The history of the West is heavily minted by Christianity as an organised religion. In particular, as far as the attitude to a woman is concerned. There is a number of facts that depict how this attitude developed and explain how did it come to the disrespect and abuse of the womanhood  as such.

1th Century:

Paul declares: “those who marry will have torments of the flesh”. “Are not you tied to a wife? Do not look for a wife”.

4th Century:

The Council of Nicaea (325) decrees that man must not marry after his ordination as a priest. Pope Syrius (385) adds that after ordination, no man is permittedto sleep with his wife.

5th Century:

Augustine declares: “Frigidity is spirituality”. “Sex during marriage is only for those who cannot control themselves” The ideal would be no sex, at any moment and for eternity”.

6th Century:

Pope Gregory the Great declares the sexual desire as a sin. Read the rest of this entry →

Ideal Woman – how Russian men see her

Published August 1, 2008 by axinia

Source: infografika RIA Novosti 

The new study on the Ideal (Russian) Woman has been done in Mai 2008 by the analytical center of SuperJob.ru. Representative number of Russian man gave thier opinion on the female ideal. Interestingly a strong differentiation has been found between a wife and a girlfriend. The grafic shows the results in Russian, I will make a short English summary here:

Intellect (important: she should not show it off, but manipulate indirectly, in order not to hurt the man): girlfriend – 46%, wife – 29%

Looks (important: form of fingers and toes, nails, skin, hair, breast form, figure, lips, eyes, nose): girlfriend – 38%, wife -21%

Femininity (important: “she must be a woman, and not an ashtray in trousers”): girlfriend -12%, wife -5%

Read the rest of this entry →

Do you know any books on romance after marriage?

Published June 1, 2008 by axinia

 

image by axinia

I used to swallow books afterer books when I was younger, but I can`t remember any describing a romantic relationship of a couple AFTER marriage. At least not as a main theme of a book. Does it mean there is NO romance after marriage at all? OR does it mean people do not believe in that? Or they do not find it interesting enough to write or read about it???

Even fairy-tales of many folks end up with the wedding ceremony. At least in the Russian and Western literature which I read. As far as I know it is different in Indian literature. Any information about African or Asian literature?

Thank you for the feedback. If anyone knows a good book on romance after marriage  – please feel free to list it here!

LOVE, axinia

How to control your husband

Published May 13, 2008 by axinia

First of all, the best way to control anyone is to please. Surprised?  Really, it is the easiest and the most joyful way to control.

Secondly, men like to be controlled – that is why they marry.They want someone to control them sweetly and gently, someone to keep an eye on their lives and mood, someone to support them affectionately…

A wise woman can easily control her dear husband by following simple methods:

1. Cook good food – and NEVER talk to your man before he has eaten! I mean at least do not try to discuss something important.

2. Take care of his looks – mostly men have a poor taste and are very happy if someone takes care of their wardrobe.

3. And… my favourite one is  – give your husband a good head massage (daily if possible) in Indian style, with coconut oil. Why? Today we are all very busy with mental over- activity, men probably still more intensely than women. A good head massage removes the tension in head which every man person has after work. Normally one can massage 5-10 min, however my husband says “it can go like this forever” 🙂 You might enjoy the looks of your husband reminding this cat: 

 image by  CeciliaC

A good head massage both relaxes and stimulates, one feels fresh and light  – and becomes very comfortable for a loving communication.

Ah, yes – dont forget to make it look like HE is the boss 🙂

There are surely 1000 and one other great tricks, like the ones my dear friend Radha described here – whatever you choose it is only your LOVE that controls. For one can not resist the true love.

LOVE; axinia

What is so special about Russian women?

Published March 24, 2008 by sj

Vodka, oil, weapons and… Russian women – these are the objects of Russian national pride. I wonder if there is any other country in this world where its women are considered the national objects of value?

Being able to watch Russian women in their home country and abroad for quite a time, and being a Russian woman myself I want to share with you some results of my long-time observations on the subject of their nature. But first let me make one very important statement:

Every country gives its special colour/flavour to its citizens, due to the geographical, historical, cultural or many other reasons. Thus, I personally consider the women of every country a special object of value, kind of a priceless commodity, the treasure.

So what is there the about Russian women?

Physical beauty

Face: Russian women are beautiful (at least this is what they hear all the time), they are aware of their beauty, they like to make themselves beautiful and they enjoy being beautiful. “Beauty will save the world” – is one of the most favorite Russian quotes apparently by F.Dostoevski.

The secret of that special beauty lays in quite a wild mixture of the East and West. Read the rest of this entry →

Don`t forget your marriage anniversary!

Published February 15, 2008 by axinia

Do men really inclined to forget their marriage anniversary?– that is at least what one can see in films or read in the books… Are they just more egoistical? Or simply because they are less “past-oriented”? (this is an argument my wise husband gave me).

In fact, that can be petty much true, for men are generally more future-oriented fellows (the subtle reason is that men are more on the right-side, towards future. Women – on the so called left side, past-oriented and emotional).

Whatever is the reason, I actually wanted to share with you this lovely videoclip by Abhay Sopori  – Santoor Maestro Music Composer Dancing Dewdrops:

 And don´t forget your marriage anniversary! 🙂

(my one is coming soon next month)

LOVE, axinia