Western and Russian couple patterns

Published December 24, 2007 by axinia

Since I moved to Europe from Russia I have been watching the relationships of couples over here. What has been puzzling me the most is the totally different approach to the relationships, the so called partnership pattern. They use that word most frequently as a synonym of a couple. But I can not get used to that  business-like name for such a beautiful and prescious relationship. Is married life indeed a partnership? Or is it much more?

I could make a long list of arguments on the deep nature of a healthy couple relationships. And I love to speak about this topic. This time however let me just show you two pictures reflecting my opinion.

Since 10 years I have been watching all sorts of couples in the West and my expression of what I see is this:

“We are together: close but each living his/her own life” – that is how it feels.

In the Russian culture there is a strong tendency being “united like one soul”, which I find more appealing and logical. Like Ing and Yang, like the sun and the sunshine…

How do you like the following picture in comparison to the first one? “united like one soul”…


I definitely prefer the second pattern. And I actually live that. And it feels great! 🙂

And you?

LOVE, axinia


9 comments on “Western and Russian couple patterns

  • Hmm. If I were being picky I’d take issue with the male hand enclosing the female in your second picture. Wouldn’t a picture of the fingers of both hands intertwined with one another be more representative of a balanced and equal relationship between man and woman? Or is this the way you envision marriage to be, the female resting within the over-arching protection and power of the male?

  • Dear GranTLC, you are right, on the second picture (these are actually the hands of my husband and me:) the male hand is eclosing the female…but it was only because the male is just bigger! 🙂
    What I really like about this type of realtionships is that is works both ways – sometime one is more caring, sometimes another. ´THe point is in melting together!!

    P.S on the other hand the male side is more protecting, that has been thoughout the himan history – and what is wrong with it? Every woman wants to be protected, even if she does not admit it :))

  • I guess it all depends on the understanding, sometimes it might be just one of them in the picture, what you don’t get to see is the other hand pushing the one hand up, sometimes its the male hand supporting/lifting the female partner up and other times its the other way around.
    As long as both people know its “us” not me/her I guess the patterns fall into place themselves.
    Very interesting topic to think about

  • Hey, what you say:
    “what you don’t get to see is the other hand pushing the one hand up” is a wonderful notice!!! 🙂 I agree and more so – it is exactly the shakti power that works this way…

  • I had the idea of “we are together but we live different lives” before getting merried to an husband from China. I am learning that it is true: we are two souls melted into each other and still different. It feels so cool and i have no words to describe the love which unites us.

  • I think I see the original point. It is not so important whose hand is on top at which time, but that the lives are intertwined into one. Sometimes with the beloved wife in the lead, sometimes with the husband. The importance is being together.

  • Very eloquent post! Academy Award 2008! )

    Being a woman who cherishes the Russo-Ukrainian heritage but eagerly learns from the East and from the West, – I know how cozy it is in the protective manly embrace.

    But there’s indeed a tricky part to it. The woman’s hand in the picture looks insulated, and the gremlin on my left shoulder whispers: “Fingers blocked, back exposed!” )

    It’s very tempting for a woman to curl down and relegate everything on the man. And on the other hand, it’s very tempting for a man to take all the reigns and hold the woman from acting.

    Now my version of the 3d picture…

    You may like this!

    Palms together, as if in a prayer. Fingers pointed upward, thumbs embracing each other.

    Man’s hand is bigger so his fingertips reach higher, and deep inside we know that the bulges of the palms fill the dimples sensually.

    It resembles me of the saying that love is “not staring at each other, but looking in one direction”. Seems to me that this “mudra” embodies both ways. )

    With warmest wishes, Natalia

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: