Beautiful overweight

Published August 14, 2007 by axinia

  photo by axinia

My post “Why do we long for beauty” was commented by “C”, a sweet young girl looking for support in her beauty pursuit.I promised to write a post on that topic and here I am – writing for Shaktipower after such a  long time!..

Dear C., You say you are “… 5′4 and about 230 lbs. Though these may sound like alarming numbers I do not look as big as the digits, but compared to other girls my age I feel like a house. ” Lovely description! – I was so touched by your comment that it made me think about it and I came to some interesting conclusions.

1. First of all – where do you live? I bet it is one of these western countries that ruined the image of a woman, making her look like a man (skinny, skeleton-like, flat). If it is the case you are lucky indeed and will need a sound portion of self-esteem.

The fact is that in all traditional cultures a skinny woman has never been seen as beautiful! I must admit that I love looking at women who are bigger that “standard” sizes (but the proportions are still important) – as I find it really pleasing and beautiful.

 photo by axinia

2. The next point is: have you got a pretty face? If you do have, than your size does not really matter, as for people it is the face that is the first sign of attractiveness. If you consider yourself not that pretty, then there are three ways out:

a) makeup and highlighting of the most unique and beautiful features (eyes? lips? nose? hair? eyebrows?)

b) simple but works: as soon as you will be aware of your beauty, everyone around will see the same! – my longtime personal experience is the best proof

c) The grand Dame of Fashion, Coco Chanel (who was herself not that pretty, but made her name to a legend of beauty) said: “If a woman has not become beautiful by 30, she is a fool.”. So my dear C., you still have much time ahead! – I believe that true beauty is also a sign of intelligence. And you are intelligent, right?

3. Cloths: please wear only what flatters your figure type. Does not matter what the stupid fashion says. I know it is difficult at that age but I am sure you will find a wise solution.

 photo by axinia

4. And last, but not least, I would like to share a very personal experience, “the beauty-story” of my own life.

As a child I was always extremely skinny. And not cute. Not even a little bit! As grey as a mouse, as thin as a skeleton. Absolutely nothing. But I was longing for beauty around me, within me and in the reflection of my nature – in my appearance.

I took the case as an artist: I started shaping my looks by the magic of colors, fabrics, paints… No diets, no sports. Only the breath of an artist… I was enjoying a lot that applying of beauty to my poor pail body. And it took some years. But my conviction in my inner and outer beauty grew day by day.

Time passed and an ugly duckling has turned to a beautiful swan – as it usually happens! Now people turn their heads in admiration when I pass by – I am not a stunning model, but I believe to have reached the unique combination of uniting the inner state with the outer, being in harmony with myself and yet willing to please the others with my joyful looks.


photo by axinia

My recipe?

Only skirts, never trousers; always clear, joyful colors (lots of pink and red, some white and lavender).

Mostly only 50-60ies style at work. 

Middle-high heels.

Oriental style at free time (maxi, red, shawls). 

No leggings, no mini.

Elegant at any weather and any situation.

I am not beautiful (not that much;) but I feel myself as a messenger of beauty, for I believe that beauty is the essence of love…

Dear C., I see that you identify the problem of your looks with the problem of finding a boy to date (or a more serious relationship later) – that is a big illusion, I am afraid!

Here in the West people are going mad about dating, having “somebody” on their side, having a “boyfriend/girlfriend” for years together and not venturing to get married… All kinds of that silly stuff… And the pressure is getting worse! It is almost impossible to withstand such a brainwash, I know.

 photo by axinia

However life proves that it is absolutely useless to build up any relations with the opposite sex at that young age. First you must build up yourself, let your personality blossom up! It is popular now to start dating even at the very young age, even kindergarten children are trying to copy that. But in fact, this practice leads finally to 60% divorce rate in the West. Why? Because they can think of romance only before marriage. After marriage they just stand /or can not stand each other… It is so sad… Please keep your romantic feelings for the most precious and enjoyable married life!

There is so much to tell about this wonderful subject, my dear C., and I wish i could meet you in person, give you a big hug and support you with deeds, not only with words…

My two other articles on relationships and marriage could extend that topic for you:

Marriage: Made in Heaven 

Does male-female friendship exist?

LOVE, axinia


16 comments on “Beautiful overweight

  • Wonderful post!
    Dear C.! I also know how difficult it is to deal with these self-esteem problems in your age. But DO BELIEVE – everything the best is still ahead of you, ALWAYS!

    “You are gold! Always believe in your soul!” – there’s such a wonderful song.

    P.S. Ksyushik, isprav pls slovo full vo frase Chanel!
    Lyublyu tebya!

  • Oh my sweet, sweet, Axinia, how precious you are to my soul. I truly feel that by reaching out to you that I have made such a wonderful decision. I can’t even begin to tell you how marvelously special I feel for this post that you’ve made, that was inspired by myself. Oh Axinia, please give me more… more hope… more inspiration… more to live for! You have truly made my day, and I love and appreciate you ever so dearly. THANK YOU. 🙂

  • Hi Axinia, what a wondeful post!

    This is not only for C. Though i havent’ asked for this but I feel you were also talking to me. I got weight problems lately and i tried not to be depressed about it coz am already depressed on other things. But as always, I always say AM BEAUTIFUL and my size does not matter to the beauty the people can see in me. =)
    Will try to follow the “skirt” tip — it might do more wonders for me. I like the indian sarwal or that pants paired with long dress but I don’t know if they looked well on me.

    Thanks so much for this wonderful post. Happy week-end!

  • Dear Axinia, I have recently went shopping at Old Navy and they had my size for everything I was looking for! But one thing that amazed me was the fact that I actually went down a dress size! I initially noticed when I tried on my usual size and it was too big! So I got a smaller size and it was still a tiny bit loose. But it still fit. So it was good! I really found my style and I tried my clothes on with all of my accessories and I felt really good about my clothes. I am just so excited 🙂

  • Dear C., very happy to hear that!! You will definetly find your style and the all other things to bring out the beauty of your soul, to make it shine through your appearance. Good luck, dear!

  • Dear Axinia, school has just started back and every outfit i wore was a big hit. I really feel pretty axinia and good about myself. Thanks for everything 🙂

  • Dear Axinia,

    I was reading your posts “Why do we long for Beauty” and “Beautiful Overweight” and not only enjoyed reading your observations but also found it wonderful how you have drawn in your readers into the conversation.

    Since you deal with emotional well-being issues I thought you might be interested in a project I’ve been working on. This project, called Imagining Ourselves, is a multi-lingual, global online exhibit featuring the artwork, film and writings of women from all over the world. Our Web address is

    Our current theme is Image and Identity and sub theme is Age of Beauty and there are some incredible stories from and about women around the world.

    I take this opportunity to invite you to visit our Web site and perhaps drop a comment. Do let me know if you would like to get involved in any other way as well. I look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Strength to you and your work!

    Kind regards,


  • Dear Axinia,
    Thank You for inspiring thoughts that will help all the readers. I am with you in that self confidence and inner beauty are very important to look beautiful. I just have one little bit of worry and that is being healthy and overweight is wonderful, but often being overweight brings with it high blood pressure, high cholesterol and pressure on bones which have devastating health effects. I think being fit is more important, overweight or skinny it doesnt matter.
    I do thank you however for the beautiful soul you have. God Bless.

  • I have to agree that in general Indian Ladies are beautiful. Having worked closely with members of the Indian Community, I found Indian Ladies to be beautiful people whatever their size.

    As a man, I probably have a different perspective on beauty to the average female. Although I must agree that the face is important because it is the first thing one tends to see, I have found that some of the least physically beautiful ladies have been the most beautiful overall.

    Make the most of what you have and walk tall, irrespective of your height.


  • Dear Axinia, I am on this news show at my school and it’s really great. Everyone says I’m a natural. I’m thinking about pursuing this as a career. But I’m a little discouraged because there are so many other people out ther who want to be famous and I’m afraid that I’ll just get lost in the crowd. Wonderful comments by the way axinia. Your posts always have the most beautiful and interesting comments.Keep up all of the good work because you really are inspiring. Until next time.


  • Hi C. also in my case i can share something for you. i didnt want to have anybody (like boy) next to me for many years and fekt much more attracted by friends, fun, studying, growing myself, talking to other women, being with my sister and enjoy traveling a lot everywhere. Then in the time of 2 years a man Directly from heaven and from nowhere simply found me and we merried. But i needed to grow something inside before getting to this point. Life is made of steps and we have to choose from within if we want to be special or just like everybody else. Lots of good wishes an blessings, r.

  • about leggings and pants, i have to admit i am a little shocked when i see 40-50 years old ladies wearing jeans and trousers, i dont feel good inside while looking at them…

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