Marriage: Made in Heaven

Published March 23, 2007 by axinia

Read it if you consider a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship fine!

Guess why somebody’s marriage gets people around so excited? Why a wedding ceremony is regarded as the most beautiful celebration in all the cultures, among all the nations? Even though the voices for “free love” are rising high, We can not cheat the collective consciousness, subconsciousness and unconsciousness of mankind – the institution of marriage is obviously not human, it is DIVINE…    

 

Let me show why I feel it this way (personal experience based) .   

Second brain

The common mistake of modern times (as we are being well brain-washed) is that  it is the heart that shows you your life-partner. Very seldom it is the case. Naturally it should be not the heart, but actually your stomach! The key word s of a married life are sustenance, wellbeing, satisfaction, home – regarding our subtle centers they all belong to the 3rd one, in the middle of a body. Scientifically seen it is a place of a “second brain” as well. Meeting your life partner you should feel very comfortable in your stomach. Relaxed. Safe…  

Love

And the love? It can come later… In fact the true love always comes later! It is so easy to fall in love with many people (happens to me all the time as I love people, every single soul is such a precious treasure, diamond flower!)… People are made by and for love. For loving each other, all of us. Only when it gets romantic, it is very misleading and confusing – and the folk’s wisdom calls it “falling” in love. In the western society where people believe in love-marriage we have up to 60% divorces! – A good indication of the reliability of this concept.  

 photo getthebubble

Living together before marriage

What is the need und use of it? They say they want to try…The life proves that it is often the wrong method to try: why after many years of living together before marriage many couples get divorced shortly after? And why actually in the legends and  fairy tales of all cultures she and he are separated till the wedding? Why do they have to overcome hurdles and despair of separation? Because the emotional connection can be much better established without the daily matters! While this period of living separately before marriage a future couple can work out such a lot!  

Subtle balance

People tend to choose a spouse based on similarity. Interestingly we get more attracted to people of the same type. And often enough this choice appears to be wrong. But even if it is a psychologically the opposite type we can still totally miss the point as it is not physiology which makes the match! It is the harmony of your subtle centers (one has some centers stronger, some weaker, and it should balance). It is like music: she has her melody, he has his melody. If the melody is almost the same it sounds boring. It should be playful, intriguing, gracious and joyful! Full of sweetness of an everlasting charm…  

People’s approval

Another interesting indication that a marriage is more than a mere conditioning is this one: if a company of friends partially consists of married couples and singles, married people always try to encourage the others to marry, even if their own married life is not such a success. Why? In a perfect case marriage should not only be a decision of a couple – the approving and blessing of family and friends is a solid ground for a happy married life: a great indicator if everyone feels joy just looking at a couple, just thinking of them. It is like the gentle and yet powerful hands of dear people holding a couple!  

 photo Celvin Ong

Divorce

If it comes to a divorce it hurts hellacious, and often physically. And for a long time. Not at all the same as a separation in a non-marital relationship! It feels as if almost physical bound was being cut and it was bleeding. And the pain is sometimes unbearable. May be it is the sign that the connection is fixed not merely on paper?  

The only thing a man can give to a woman

Today when women have reached so much in the Western world, there is almost nothing a man can give to a woman. Almost. Taking her as a wife he protects her chastity. No other kind of relationship can do this. And chastity is the most powerful thing about a woman (an article on it follows)! Mohammed let polygamy in the Islam in, as after the dreadful wars there were many women left and he did not want them to be prostitutes. A married woman is obviously much more protected from harassment and abuse than an unmarried. Even today there is still much respect (or awe?) to a married woman. In fact what happenes is that the first and the third subtle center get strengthened and protected, which gives a woman security and even more dignity. 

Spiritual evolution

Marriage is one of the crucial conditions on a way to human evolution, even for those who are keen on their spiritual development and try to avoid worldly matters. It is only through the mirror of your marital relationships that you can face yourself. In many countries people wear a wedding ring on a right ring finger (corresponding to the subtle centre of ego): can it be a sign of surrendering an ego to the spouse? And without surrendering the ego one can not grow, it’s a fact. Ego is the hardest thing to part with and a union based on a commitment can work it out. At least a good piece of it. A good marriage always elevates the person! 

Relax!

Now think about the huge amount of time you spend on finding a partner! – Loads of time, and so much attention! You are never completely peaceful. Restless. Always alert. Always unconsciously searching, looking for the right one. And even of you are in a relationship (which is not fixed by marriage), still you are not secure and keep searching, think of alternatives… After getting married (to the right partner!) you look like a full stuffed cat, satisfied and relaxed. You suddenly have so much time for other things, and above all you can really enjoy your life together! 

Blossoming out 

And last but not least indicator is your appearance. Our true being always shines (or darkens) through: no way to hide anything behind make up or smart clothing! Naturally after getting married to the right person you will find yourself blossoming out even physically. Woman softens; man gets more solid and masculine. Both of you perfectly balance each other which impacts the face and body. You blossom out like gorgeous peon flowers! Another interesting thing happening is that you decorate each other like an ornament. The ever-growing and ever-flowing beauty of a married life is truly one of the most sacred and blessed way of human relationships! 

 photo hp_thornton

 

This article is dedicated to the 60th marriage anniversary of Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi and Sir C.P. Shrivastava who gave me a bright an inspiring example of a happy and fulfilled married life.

 

 

 

 

For the indication of the right life-partner see the upcoming article.

 

LOVE, axinia

 

RELEVANT ARTICLES:

Does male-female friendship exist?

The beauty of a marriage

Two more interesting points on Marriage

Nice quotes on Marriage

 

 

47 comments on “Marriage: Made in Heaven

  • Dear Axinia, BRAVO!!!!!

    Thank You so much for this brilliant article! It is very deep and clear. It gave me so much joy and I am sure I know few people I will reccomend to read this, to get more confident, and in the end, who knows, happier?
    ;o)
    Lots of Love
    Martina

  • Dear Axinia, what a wonderful article! Very very inspiring and comforting to read: in a world where marriage has the touch of being “boring” and “old fashioned” it feels so good to hear that – on the contrary – it is something very valuable – and as you said even divine, based on eternal values.
    I am looking forward reading more from you
    love, Rose

  • Shakti means eternal and Supreme Power or in simple terms defines “strength”

    “It is like music: she has her melody, he has his melody. If the melody is almost the same it sounds boring. It should be playful, intriguing, gracious and joyful! Full of sweetness of an everlasting charm”.

    I liked this description conjures up images of a symphony, and can only hope others share your views on marriage so that they find their true life partner.

    So went in search of the meaning and came across this:

    “According to the Devi-Mahatmya:

    By you this universe is borne,
    By you this world is created,
    O Devi, by you it is protected.

    The earliest term applied to the divine feminine, which still retains its popular usage, is Shakti. The word Shakti is used in a bewildering variety of ways ranging from its use as a way of signifying the ultimate primordial creative power, to expressing the capacity or power of words to convey meaning. Etymologically it is derived from the root ‘shak,’ meaning potency or the potential to produce, an assertion of Her inherent creative aptitude.

    All interpretations of the word ‘shakti’ hold common one parameter, namely power”

    As quoted in http://www.exoticindiaart.com/article/shakti

    I am a cold hearted sceptic; disillusioned could be a better description.

    In contrast however, do have to grudgingly admit and echo with the part titled:

    Relax!

    Now think about the huge amount of time you spend on finding a partner! – Loads of time, and so much attention! You are never completely peaceful. Restless. Always alert. Always unconsciously searching, looking for the right one. And even of you are in a relationship (which is not fixed by marriage), still you are not secure and keep searching, think of alternatives… After getting married (to the right partner!) you look like a full stuffed cat, satisfied and relaxed. You suddenly have so much time for other things, and above all you can really enjoy your life together! “

    As I am aware of the unconscious (sometimes conscious) or even curious searching, in my own existence, as there has to be some meaning, haven’t quite unraveled that.

    My personal unqualified opinion is that eastern people voice the unvoicable in metaphoric and divine beings like the story of Shiva and Parvati in union where all things are feminine and that we (humans) being flesh and blood, I would personally prefer the DNA and Pheromone concept of attraction between genders. The chemistry is just that, purely chemical and lust is more understandable than love.

    Having said a heck of lot and do apologise for the rambling, the 3 rd brain concept sits quite comfortably with me as a student of martial art.

    I do accept that for a peaceable society, any guidance on finding the oasis in a world of turmoil should be welcomed by all regardless of their religious leanings I therefore, thank you for this post.

  • Axinia!
    Hats off🙂

    “every single soul is such a precious treasure, diamond flower!”
    This one line shows what your soul is, I bet no one would have ever though like this. This shows your loving heart.

    Coming to Marriage.
    Yes, Marriages are made in Heaven, this is the only relationship in this world, where you can see and feel all other relationships. Love of a mother, of a friend , of a guru and of everything.

    Your words about “Living together before marriage” is so so so true. I totally agree with you.
    Marriage as you said is a path to spiritual evolution, it is a path given to us to mold ourselves and to make ourselves ready for the next higher level.

    The power of Love :
    How many of us has experienced the Power of Love? It is BEAUTIFUL, most beautiful thing that can happen. i think love is a bridge that connects this world and the eternal world. This is the path through which we can attain the eternity.

    Marriage:
    Marriage is not just a living together, it is living the other. Feeling what your partner feels. Every marriage is successful, but people fail to notice that.

    This is a real great work. I want to write a lot regarding this, but as i told i couldn’t now.
    Good Work

  • Thanks, justlerningman

    for your extended comments – I like your searching for “shakti” meaning – you will not belive how close it is to the actual topic of this article! Reagrding DNA and pheormone stuff – I guess it does not (or al least almost never) works for a marriage: it may work for sexual attraction, but not for marrige – I am pretty sure!

    BALA,
    1000 thanks for your detalied and thourogh commenting – I love every word you say! I am happy you see the things same way. And I am very impresed by your understanding of marriage, really…Would be great if you could develop this topic, – at least I am going to do so in the future posts😉

  • Axinia, your article expresses very beautiful and spiritual thoughts.
    You spoke of similar personalities being attracted to each other. If you ask me, I am not sure that I believe that personality matters. It is possible to be happy with someone who is similar, or if someone is the opposite. Barring extreme cases, I believe that one has to simply accept that this one is mine forever. Marraige is the only institution that can give you this feeling of belonging to each other, in a way that a live in relationship never can.

  • Sometimes I think,women have to be completly mad when they marry. I wanted to devorce … but I can’t. I have a feeling that I can’t explain: “I’m married” that meens responsability and something more. Something without words.What is this?I asked me.Maybe you are right,I don’t call it devine but…

  • hey anixia!
    i feel its a complete ‘adaptablity-test’ case
    totally dependent on the individuals,
    the measure of duration and compatibilty of a relationship has to be the patient adaptable slothy person of the two,
    as far as similarities and differences are concerned, we all know and we all believe that we are so
    different in spite of the eternal reality that we are all so so similar!

  • it is an interesting article and really touching to the people who are still not happy with the spouse they already have and also someone who is tourturing to get one for himself and not satisfied with what he gets . love and marrage are closely related and it will sure not lead to illusion and lust , this are all reality i feel and thank to everybody’s contrubution in this marrage life .

  • Thank you Nita,

    If you allow I want to make a quotation from your post about marriages wich i found so touchy and so true:

    “I think the divorce rate is high in the west because people are not looking at marraige as a permanent institution. Its not as if all the couples who stay together in India are always happy. Its just that for many people there is a belief that bad times will pass…but this is changing. People are not giving each other a chance. They feel that someone ‘better’ is around the corner.

    Actually I firmly believe that unless it is a case of abuse, couples can make a go of it. I believe that there is nothing as beautiful as two people spending their whole lives together. What you can get from that, you can get from nothing else. You think…I can’t possibly love this man more than that…but with every year you realise how wrong you are!” Nita`s article here

    http://nitawriter.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/internet-marraige-bureaus-thriving-in-india/

  • Thank you, dk for this lovely and deep comment! – i love this part: “as far as similarities and differences are concerned, we all know and we all believe that we are so
    different in spite of the eternal reality that we are all so so similar!”
    If only we could remember it always!…

    Many thanks to hari kumar for the comment as well – i hoped very much that with my small contribution some people can see better what treasure a married life is!

  • Interesting article indeed… I’m glad someone has a more positive outlook on marriage than I do.

    One thing I whole-heartedly disagree with you about though is a man protecting a woman’s chastity. Most girls I’ve met (maybe it’s an age thing; I’m 19 so people five years younger and older than I am) are pretty slutty and most definitely not virgins so whether they get married or not, they definitely don’t have any chastity to protect.

  • The Ace of Spades, I see your point. But chastity is has not much to do wiht being a virgin. It is a state of being, just when you are married you dont look at other men as at men.
    And vice versa, men do not approach you with filthy things, knowing you are married and thus protedted. But it very much depends on your own chastity which is within. It just get strenthened with a marriage. And it makes life so much easier!…

  • wow.. your research on marriage is commendable..
    but is it all that COMPLEX
    i have never seen marriage under such a microscope..
    i have always thought of marriage as the social and legal permission to live with someone you love..
    i didnt know so many factors have to be considered..
    ceeaa

  • Hey, HUnny Sachdeva,
    I am very pleased to be able to show you a new dimension:)
    Marriage IS a beautiful and unique institution, unfortunately soem people want to put it down.
    If you believe in love you should belive in marriage – and in fact, love after getting married is much stronger than before!

  • Hi,

    I just read your article and it just makes me feel like crying. It somehow touched to find that i am not alone with my thinking specially these days when i am wondering if i am taking the right path.

    Thank you for writing this. I do not know what inspired you, but you truly touched my soul.

    Kindest regards,

  • Dear Shedlie Joseph,
    that is one of the most prescious comments I ahve ever had, thank you!
    In fact, my own happy married life was the main inspiration…
    May you be blessed and happy on your way. All my love, axinia

  • Hi,
    Here is what comes to me after reading….

    rst all is love,
    saorabh

    With You I Fly!!!

    Wanna fly with you.
    Wanna fly with you like a bird.
    our life wud be like a sky
    no limits no frawns no lie
    we’ll hold wings & give it our best
    we have the will we have the zest
    Though its not easy to cross it in one go
    but i know when you are there we’ll give the best show.
    I trust you when I am weak
    but I am sure we’ll do it till the peak
    The faith in me keeps us alive
    it says tht we wud never have to strive.
    you are the best thing that has happened to me
    you can see my dreams, yes through my eyes you see
    We’ll do it together I am so much sure
    no doubts the life sometimes is very soar.
    the faith you give is embeded deep in me
    togetherness is what I feel…Yes I can see….
    when I close my eyes I feel the fly
    holding wings & giving it another try
    yes we can do it I am so much sure…
    your love for me is the best cure,
    wanna fly with you and …fly & fly
    we’ll cross this life we’ll cross the sky.

    simply saorabh

  • Wow…..I am truly amazed……Thats exactly what it means I guess…thats wat my mom said to me when I said I am not ready for marriage….
    I am *Bowing Down* Lady!!!!!!! Hats off!!!!!!

  • Thanks. But if you literally think that marriages are made in heaven then it presumes the existence of heaven. Lets assume heaven exists and they are writing destiny for who marries who etc. Question: Why are they writing muslim men to get married to more than one woman? For Hindus it was the case in earlier times, but not anymore? Less than a century ago, child marriages were prevalent, not anymore? So heavens changed their rules? I don’t think so. So if you literally mean or think that marriages are made in heaven then you are stupid. If all you mean to say is that being in a good marriage is like heaven then good article. Just please don’t misguide people into thinking that marriages are made in Godly heavens. A lot of people in the world are impressionable and reading such articles strengthens their beliefs that there is divine interference in marriage, when its not. Its all upto you. I can explain how that kind of thinking limits people in various ways but that’s not the point.

    Hope you understand.

  • Hi,

    This is a ridiculous article… what about the men and women who are never married but have had multiple sexual or loving partners as Boy Freindsf and Girl Freinds or spouses. and what about those men and women who divorce their spouse and get married with another person..How many pairs of one person has God made in Heaven? Does your article fit on the men and women having muliple partners. Your article is just a Fantasy.. Come to a practical world.. Practical world is totally different than your fantasy world.

  • I feel a girl, right from her childhood till the time when she understands what LOVE is, knows one thing for sure; that one day that beautiful moment will come in her life when she will marry her prince. Till that time she prepares herself, every day, for that special moment. Share your thoughts about this wonderful relationship on http://nectarofhappiness.com

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