Read it if you consider a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship fine!
Guess why somebody’s marriage gets people around so excited? Why a wedding ceremony is regarded as the most beautiful celebration in all the cultures, among all the nations? Even though the voices for “free love” are rising high, We can not cheat the collective consciousness, subconsciousness and unconsciousness of mankind – the institution of marriage is obviously not human, it is DIVINE…
Let me show why I feel it this way (personal experience based) .
The common mistake of modern times (as we are being well brain-washed) is that it is the heart that shows you your life-partner. Very seldom it is the case. Naturally it should be not the heart, but actually your stomach! The key word s of a married life are sustenance, wellbeing, satisfaction, home – regarding our subtle centers they all belong to the 3rd one, in the middle of a body. Scientifically seen it is a place of a “second brain” as well. Meeting your life partner you should feel very comfortable in your stomach. Relaxed. Safe…
And the love? It can come later… In fact the true love always comes later! It is so easy to fall in love with many people (happens to me all the time as I love people, every single soul is such a precious treasure, diamond flower!)… People are made by and for love. For loving each other, all of us. Only when it gets romantic, it is very misleading and confusing – and the folk’s wisdom calls it “falling” in love. In the western society where people believe in love-marriage we have up to 60% divorces! – A good indication of the reliability of this concept.
Living together before marriage
What is the need und use of it? They say they want to try…The life proves that it is often the wrong method to try: why after many years of living together before marriage many couples get divorced shortly after? And why actually in the legends and fairy tales of all cultures she and he are separated till the wedding? Why do they have to overcome hurdles and despair of separation? Because the emotional connection can be much better established without the daily matters! While this period of living separately before marriage a future couple can work out such a lot!
People tend to choose a spouse based on similarity. Interestingly we get more attracted to people of the same type. And often enough this choice appears to be wrong. But even if it is a psychologically the opposite type we can still totally miss the point as it is not physiology which makes the match! It is the harmony of your subtle centers (one has some centers stronger, some weaker, and it should balance). It is like music: she has her melody, he has his melody. If the melody is almost the same it sounds boring. It should be playful, intriguing, gracious and joyful! Full of sweetness of an everlasting charm…
Another interesting indication that a marriage is more than a mere conditioning is this one: if a company of friends partially consists of married couples and singles, married people always try to encourage the others to marry, even if their own married life is not such a success. Why? In a perfect case marriage should not only be a decision of a couple – the approving and blessing of family and friends is a solid ground for a happy married life: a great indicator if everyone feels joy just looking at a couple, just thinking of them. It is like the gentle and yet powerful hands of dear people holding a couple!
photo Celvin Ong
If it comes to a divorce it hurts hellacious, and often physically. And for a long time. Not at all the same as a separation in a non-marital relationship! It feels as if almost physical bound was being cut and it was bleeding. And the pain is sometimes unbearable. May be it is the sign that the connection is fixed not merely on paper?
The only thing a man can give to a woman
Today when women have reached so much in the Western world, there is almost nothing a man can give to a woman. Almost. Taking her as a wife he protects her chastity. No other kind of relationship can do this. And chastity is the most powerful thing about a woman (an article on it follows)! Mohammed let polygamy in the Islam in, as after the dreadful wars there were many women left and he did not want them to be prostitutes. A married woman is obviously much more protected from harassment and abuse than an unmarried. Even today there is still much respect (or awe?) to a married woman. In fact what happenes is that the first and the third subtle center get strengthened and protected, which gives a woman security and even more dignity.
Marriage is one of the crucial conditions on a way to human evolution, even for those who are keen on their spiritual development and try to avoid worldly matters. It is only through the mirror of your marital relationships that you can face yourself. In many countries people wear a wedding ring on a right ring finger (corresponding to the subtle centre of ego): can it be a sign of surrendering an ego to the spouse? And without surrendering the ego one can not grow, it’s a fact. Ego is the hardest thing to part with and a union based on a commitment can work it out. At least a good piece of it. A good marriage always elevates the person!
Now think about the huge amount of time you spend on finding a partner! – Loads of time, and so much attention! You are never completely peaceful. Restless. Always alert. Always unconsciously searching, looking for the right one. And even of you are in a relationship (which is not fixed by marriage), still you are not secure and keep searching, think of alternatives… After getting married (to the right partner!) you look like a full stuffed cat, satisfied and relaxed. You suddenly have so much time for other things, and above all you can really enjoy your life together!
And last but not least indicator is your appearance. Our true being always shines (or darkens) through: no way to hide anything behind make up or smart clothing! Naturally after getting married to the right person you will find yourself blossoming out even physically. Woman softens; man gets more solid and masculine. Both of you perfectly balance each other which impacts the face and body. You blossom out like gorgeous peon flowers! Another interesting thing happening is that you decorate each other like an ornament. The ever-growing and ever-flowing beauty of a married life is truly one of the most sacred and blessed way of human relationships!
This article is dedicated to the 60th marriage anniversary of Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi and Sir C.P. Shrivastava who gave me a bright an inspiring example of a happy and fulfilled married life.
For the indication of the right life-partner see the upcoming article.