Do you know any books on romance after marriage?

Published June 1, 2008 by axinia

 

image by axinia

I used to swallow books afterer books when I was younger, but I can`t remember any describing a romantic relationship of a couple AFTER marriage. At least not as a main theme of a book. Does it mean there is NO romance after marriage at all? OR does it mean people do not believe in that? Or they do not find it interesting enough to write or read about it???

Even fairy-tales of many folks end up with the wedding ceremony. At least in the Russian and Western literature which I read. As far as I know it is different in Indian literature. Any information about African or Asian literature?

Thank you for the feedback. If anyone knows a good book on romance after marriage  – please feel free to list it here!

LOVE, axinia

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25 comments on “Do you know any books on romance after marriage?

  • This reminds me of a quote:

    “The only cure to love is marriage.
    And the cure to marriage is to love again.”

    When you are young you are full of anticipation. Poets and writers work on this anticipation in you and churn out books after books. Once married, the spell is broken and their magic doesn’t work. So you don’t find any book. Simple :)

    (Axinia, why are you getting these thoughts.
    Someone should alert Volodimir ;)

  • Swaps, I got you me totally wrong!

    it is exactly because I enjoy my very romantic marriage I am just wondering where all the book about that beautiful state are?!?

  • Ufff, my apologies. The pun was inappropriate.

    I feel romance in youth is passion – the giddy, restless heart wrenching longing and pain that is love. It is fever, right? Writers can easily access this passion.

    How can we invoke passion without separation or unrequited love while writing about post-marriage romance? Sure there is marital bliss, but passion, I think not. And poems are all about passion (rasa, in Indian literature).

    Marriage being man’s creation can hardly appeal to poets, who worship nature.

    Have you heard of the novel Cyrano de Bergerac. May be it is the right answer.

  • @Swaps,
    may I ask you why do you recommend this novel Cyrano de Bergerac?

    thanks, Katisommer! I hope we wikll get at least 3 things on the list…but by now it looks rather poor :(

  • Axinia, I am trying see why the best works on romance are tragedies. They say there is no greater tragedy than being next to the person you love and knowing he/she will never be yours(married?)….just like in Cyrano de Bergerac.
    Does this make it such a great work? If Cyrano had married his cousin, would it have been less passionate? Is this why there are no books on romance after marriage because love without pain lacks passion?

    I am trying to address your question in a round about way :)
    (I think the Italians have Orlando. And we have Urdu couplets.)

  • I know what you meamn, swaps, but this is rather…silly love. Tragedy and all that stuff – it makes a drama, yes.

    but it is not the true love.

    The true love enjoyes and loves.

    It does not need any tragedy :)

  • Axinia, its obvious you have been happy in love. Keep it up :)

    But not all are lucky and this shouldn’t make their love any less true.

    I think I shouldn’t have called it tragedy….’sweet pain’ is more apt.

    Axinia, may I ask if you have read Vasil Bykov? For long, I have wondered what a Russian thought of his books. I liked them a lot.

  • thanks, Swaps.
    I have also some history of “unhappy” love, but if I introspect, it is mostly an ego-driven thing. What I learned on my life that TRUE love is not ego-driven, it is unconditional and giving…ego-love is posessive – dont get confused if people call it love. But LOVE is a vast topic…:)

    I read Bykov, Russians do liike him.

  • Thanks Axina,

    I agree with you, Love is full of joy, it’s essence starts only after marriage not before the marriage falling in love eith each other.

    It is not just the desires of each other, it is the close relations of each other which shares the joy, that means only the presence/thinking of one’s patner with him/her is sufficent to enjoy the love after marriage.

    This enjoyement is call cool breeze, which transforms both in one direction, both enjoys Creator’s gifts

  • Hi Axinia,

    Have you read Louisa May Alcott’s Little women & Good wives ?

    Little women is about the childhood of four sisters & Good wives their respective marraiges & the love which slowly blooms out.

    I am sure you will like them.

    Congrats for your beautiful blogs !

  • Ich glaube es liegt daran, dass die meisten Bücher (Romane) eine Art Konflikt/Problem/Kampf/Aufgabenstellung beschreiben.
    Nun denken halt viele: “Na die zwei sind ja jetzt schon verheiratet, sie haben ja die ganze Hürde mit den eifersüchtigen Exfreunden, den rassistischen Schwiegereltern, den Geldproblemen, den peinlichen Missverständnissen, etc, schon überwunden! Wozu geht die Geschichte denn noch weiter? Jetzt ist ja all die Spannung schon verpufft!”
    Wobei diese LeserInnen/AutorInnen übersehen, das die Hochzeit des Paares ja nicht das Ende ist, sondern ein neuer Anfang, der Beginn neuer Konflikte und Herausforderungen, die auf das Paar warten und ihnen helfen jeden Tag ein bisschen zu wachsen.
    Entweder übersehen sie das, oder sie wollen es nicht sehen, da sie selbst “noch niemanden gefunden haben”, oder in einer unglücklichen Ehe feststecken, ohne sich mit der harten Arbeit konfrontieren zu wollen, die es bedeuten würde die Ehe aufzulösen oder zu verbessern.

  • Hi Axina,

    This is an interesting topic; there is one story which came into my mind immediately, a movie about a true story of the novelist Iris Murdoch and her husband John Bayley, titled “Iris”. The film is based on John Bayley’s books “Iris: A Memoir” and “Elegy for Iris”. This is a romantic story of love of a lifetime, through marriage, and how John was taking care of Iris after she has got Alzheimer’s desease. It has been years ago when I saw the film, but it is great and touching. Also great actor’s performances.

    About the movie:
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0280778/

    Virag
    jogini from Hungary

  • Michelle Mckinney Hammond “Secrets of an Irresistible Woman” devotes some pages to it.

    Also “The Rules.” A very popular book (or “All the Rules” which is part 1 and 2 together) devotes a few chapters on it.

    “Always Ask a Man”

    “A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband,” a cute cookbook that has sort of a cute story line with every recipe.

    and other old books about domesticity. But these are about what the woman can do to please, to care for, or to excite her husband.

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