What is so special about Russian women?

Published March 24, 2008 by sj

Vodka, oil, weapons and… Russian women – these are the objects of Russian national pride. I wonder if there is any other country in this world where its women are considered the national objects of value?

Being able to watch Russian women in their home country and abroad for quite a time, and being a Russian woman myself I want to share with you some results of my long-time observations on the subject of their nature. But first let me make one very important statement:

Every country gives its special colour/flavour to its citizens, due to the geographical, historical, cultural or many other reasons. Thus, I personally consider the women of every country a special object of value, kind of a priceless commodity, the treasure.

So what is there the about Russian women?

Physical beauty

Face: Russian women are beautiful (at least this is what they hear all the time), they are aware of their beauty, they like to make themselves beautiful and they enjoy being beautiful. “Beauty will save the world” – is one of the most favorite Russian quotes apparently by F.Dostoevski.

The secret of that special beauty lays in quite a wild mixture of the East and West. It is not only that throughout the last 2000 years all kind of folks have been living in or invading Russia (Proto-Indo-Europeans, Early East Slavs, Mongol invasion, Germans, Skandinavians and others) , even today there are over 100 official nationalities living there with 27 languages being co-official. Russia is being the true melting pot since centuries and therefore the results – pretty mixtures of eastern and western features: high cheek bones (which is worldwide one of the beauty-signs), round face, certain softness of features, fair skin, green/blue/grey eyes and mostly dark-blond or dark brown hair.

Figure: most of the Russian women have the so called “pear” or “sand-clock” figure which is a sign of the high level of female hormone Estrogen. That makes them look feminine and – naturally - appealing for men. In the western countries it is often the “apple” figure that is typical for women and shows the higher level of the male hormone testosteron.

Colours: although being often accused by their western neighbours of wearing “kitch” Russians do love colourful clothes and fabrics. The passion for colours, gold, silver and precious ston es must be inherited from the Asians and probably will be never understood by the Westerners :) Another thing that Russian women love and what Westerners again will never understand is the fur coats. The simple reason for that is the weather conditions in most of Russia – the winter cold is such that no down coat will help to get warm enough. Nice post about it here (great blog by the way but really an exception in understanding the mysterious soul of a Russian woman!).

 

Character

Russian women have the bearing power. They can bear a lot. They bear the stupid and horrible drinking of their men – the drinking these men are so proud of. They bear the men who beat them, because when these men are drunk they want to beat… They bear all that for a long, long time. Many – for their lifetimes. But many want another destiny. They want a western foreign husband who will take care of them.  No wonder that agencies or dating websites dealing with Russian brides are blossoming since last 10 years.

Russia is a feminine country according to the science of Intercultural Communication. Masculinity vs. femininity – refers to the value placed on traditionally male or female values (as understood in most Western cultures). So called ‘masculine’ cultures value competitiveness, assertiveness, ambition, and the accumulation of wealth and material possessions, whereas feminine cultures place more value on relationships and quality of life. That explains a lot why Russians, especially Russian women are very caring and supportive, gentle and motherly. I guess it is something – alongside with the feminine beauty - that makes them especially attractive for the Western men.

All these outer and inner qualities can however describe any other Slavic women. I would claim that Russian women have something that makes them different even from their Slavic sisters, even from Ukrainian ladies.

 

The strength

Russian women are strong. In every sense of this word. The most quoted and favoured description of a true Russian woman: Would enter a house on fire, / Would hold up a galloping horse (A famous verse by Nekrasov, 1821-1877, “There Are Countrywomen in Russia…” ).They are strong in bearing things, in forgiving, in struggling for their and their familie´s survival, in keeping themselves beautiful despite the worst life conditions. But above all – they are strong in showing their weakness, especially in relationship to their men. “Sparing effort for knight to strain, a Russian lady lets a man feel himself a Hero, gets things done easily, and inspires Sir Dragon Killer the Provider to show more wonders of result and creativity when he is “rescuing” his Dame.” This seem to be some controversy to the above quote of Nekrasov, but in real life both these principles work perfectly: Russian women are very powerful at one situation and weak at another. They simply apply this exchanging play according to the situation.

While Western Feminists apparently refuse their female nature and reject the male nature, Russian ladies cultivate their praised Femininity. The Former Soviet Union management saw women`s “Elevating Function” even above their own all-bearing diligence & discipline, as the reason to include women into any male work teams!  Today of 1,130,000 Russian military, 8.5% are women. If we take all power departments, women make 12.5% of 4,000,000 staff. All brunches are represented with an emphasis on strategic rockets. Beauty and skill contests publicize the image of girls in the uniform.

Intellect

Apart from being beautiful and strong, Russian women are very well educated and hard working. Literacy and education levels among the Russian population (142 million in 2005) are relatively high, largely because the Soviet system placed great emphasis on education. Some 92 percent of the Russian people have completed at least secondary school, and 15 % have completed some form of higher education (university and above).Women make up more than half the work force. In fact, Russian women have never really fighted for their emancipation – it has always been clear to the rulers that women are the power, and women have been given many rights their western sisters would dream about for decades.

Spirituality

All these wonderful features listed above would be rather useless without the one which I personally value as the highest human quality – the spirituality.

Russian spirituality is different from the Indian or the Western one. Thanks to the ban on religion in the Soviet times people got free from the ritualism of the typical religious societies. In the absence of the church/temple/mosque people had to seek God in their heart. I consider myself lucky that I was born and grew up in an atheistic atmosphere – that gave me a clear vision and understanding of my spiritual way without any force from society.

Russian spirituality is again very “female”: true compassion and forgiveness (any not hypocritical as in some cultures) are being lived there. Another interesting point is the Russian Christianity - since the establishing of it Russians tend to worship the Mother of Christ, Bogomater`much more than Christ himself. The topic of worship / respect of a mother (physical or the Virgin Mary) is widely spread in the Russian culture. Thus, the feminine core of a nation has an impact on a woman being respected as a spiritual being. In my article Spiritual aspects of feminine beauty I mentioned already that “The attitude to the feminine beauty, to the womanhood itself has a long Christian history in the West. The woman has never been that much seen as the beautiful creation of God. The more so, it has been since millennia deeply programmed by the priests that a woman is an evil herself, a torn on the glorious path of a man. This disrespectful attitude to the womanhood had brought its fruits as a feministic movement in the 20th century, with all these millions of western women desperately crying for love and adoration…” Obviously that was not the case with the Russian women who could live their physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual self.

What you will probaly miss in the Russian woman is the joy, the fun, the hot-blooded passion.

What you will find is the certain sadness, mystery, deep love and compassion, tenderness and dedication.

And “the Russian” eyes – open, candid and a bit melancholical.

The eyes, reflecting the everlasting struggle between the Western mind and the Asian soul.

The eyes of a lost child.

 

LOVE, axinia

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132 comments on “What is so special about Russian women?

    • exaggerated and too subjective. one can’t generalize such traits as beauty or spirituality. every nation states that their women are the best. spirituality is not gilded cupola, spirituality means a lot, charity at least. And charity is not popular in Russia.

  • Axina,

    This is a GREAT POST..

    As you know I have been blogging about Russian Women for almost 2 years now and I can honestly say that you’ve taught me a few new things here that are not only incredible but also poetically insightful.

    Keep it up.. :))

    GL

  • poetical women indeed. The warmest wishes for a deep sense of “not-lost-child” shine in the eyes. I was just yesterday hanging around with a couple of girls from Russia and i loved the security ofteh brightness in their eyes. luv, r.

  • A very interesting post for someone who doesn’t know anything about Russian women. Like someone already said, it’s come straight from the heart. Thanks for the insight into the Russian character.

  • Dear Axinia!
    Your post is very informative and interesting. All the ladies I know form Russia ar really sweet and strong.
    With another point you are also right, for me as a westener woman or I think, just because of knowing how much the animals suffer in these fur-farmes, I cannot understand to wear fur-coats.
    I thank you a lot for your honestly and interesting blog.
    Michaela

  • Axina: I am so touched! Your descriptions of Russian women and their attitudes and feelings gave me a lot of new insights. Thanks for all of that. I visited Russia briefly 2 years ago and the few encounters with women I had over there confused me (in a positive sense): now I know why:)
    And I will for sure go back this year and improve my Russian nemnoga. Do you have any suggestions (blogs etc.) where to go?

    Love Klaus

  • @rw_man: the warm word of such an expert is of a special value for me, thanks a million!

    @ steve: nice note on Russian women creating great blogs :) Blogs are such a thing…I guess everyone can creat a great blog – it is only a question of love and deidication…

    @radha: I wonder why people find this post and Russian women poetical?? At least that was not my purpose of writing :) As for “the Russian eyes” there is something more to say. Indeed, I have heard from several foreginers that “the Russian” eyes is an existing phenomenon. I wonder if I will find some information about it in Internet… The Russian girld you have been hanging around – I guess – were Sahaja Yoginis. And then it`s different! Sahaja Yogis, all of them no matter the nation – have their eyes glow (I have a post explaning the reson for that in http://1000petals.wordpress.com/2007/07/22/why-do-my-eyes-shine/).

    @princess: I wish every blogging woman could write a text in the praise of the woman of her nation!!! – that woudl help a lot the ladies to understand what they really are…

    @Nita, thanks! woudl be great to get a post from YOU about Indian women!!

    @Michaela, sweet comment, thanks! Regarding the fur coat – I know you would not understand..until you will move to Russia, say somewhere to Siberia and spend a winter there :)))

    @Klaus, thanks for your sincere intrest in Russia and Russian girls. It will take time for me to make a list of good thins, let me come back later to this topic (I will post a special comment here, as it might be interesting for somebody else).

  • Well written!;) But i’ve found a little discrepancy ;)

    You said:

    “I would claim that Russian women have something that makes them different even from their Slavic sisters, even from Ukrainian ladies”

    But for illustration you used a foto with Masha from Ukraine (a girl with guitar), i’ve recognize her ;) I know, she is very proud of her ukranian nationality ;)

  • Valusha, I dont know whether this girl is really Ukranian or Russian – I like her face because she represents very well this slavic type which is also very common in Russia. But we also have much of Asian influence, just wanted t show all the types. It is was not easy to find the suitable nice pictures…

    It is a good question about the difference between Ukranian and Russian women – and in fact the answer will not do much favour to the Russians: I (and many others) find Ukraninas more soft, melodical, more joyful, sometimes more materialistic oriented :) Russian women are more powerful and – alas! – dominative (I assume because of ego being on the right side). There is indeed the difference if you watch carefully.

    I would say, the difference is the same like Germans and Austrians – the look and behave quite alike, but only at the first side. Although they share the same (German) language, they are indeed so much diefferent! – I assume again, because Germany is on the right side, and Austria – on the left. There is certain smoothness, balance, cosyness in Austia which is missing in Germany…

    Please mind that all my articles are reflect my personal opinion, which is based on the long-term studies. Not more and not less.

  • I think besides the external beauty you eloquently state, there is more of an internal innocense that I find the most wonderful.
    I feel the youthful exuberance stir within me when that little bit of wonder comes to the eyes of my beloved.
    Beauty, hope, love, faith and true belief in the innocense of all these. A true and sincere desire to find it within another human and share this in the life we have to offer each other. :)

  • Dear Axinia;
    It seems that so many are sceptics of the true nature of indepth love, trust and faith in another human. Often each day we read of those lost to slavery in Asia because of their being naive.
    The eyes can still be the window to the inner person, but a certain amount of street smarts must also be our tools to see through the lies and deciet of others.
    If you look closely at the questions and statements of those even in these issues you bring forth, one can see those that are real, those that are intelligent, and even those who try to use words to cover their own shallow thoughts and desires.
    As is often said in many cultures, if you consistently tell the truth, you do not fear in speaking your mind. If you have the need to lie, sooner or later you will be caught as you can only remember so much. Follow the path the author leaves. This will show you the real person behind the words.
    Greatest hope, luck and wishes to all those sincere people out there. ;)

  • Could not leave this passage uncommented:
    >>>Russian women have the bearing power. They can bear a lot. They bear the stupid and horrible drinking of their men – the drinking these men are so proud of. They bear the men who beat them, because when these men are drunk they want to beat… They bear all that for a long, long time. Many – for their lifetimes. But many want another destiny. They want a western foreign husband who will take care of them. No wonder that agencies or dating websites dealing with Russian brides are blossoming since last 10 years.

    Hm… this passage made me very skeptical, indeed, for several reasons:
    1. “bearing power” in my perception comes partially from financial dependence and is not really innate in its nature. It come from the thought of some type like : “How do I survive if my husband leaves me?”
    2. the more educated is the woman, the less is the desperate wish for the “foreign husband”. I have a feeling, that quite a few of the women who use these agences are just to naive and do not realize how hard that might be for them to later on adapt to the life in a foreign culture (besides you probably know how severe the homeland nostalgy can be in Russians), whith a man who does not have anything is common with her in the way he was brought up. They compare “peaceful and safe materialistically life” to “stressful survival” but might not take into account the psychological and mental gaps which might come up later. So this wish to find a foreign husband is not only stimulated by the desire to find a true love but to run away from the materialist trouble, unfortunately..
    3. something in this context about Russian men, too.. The fact that our girls are so feminine cannot but is reflected in the way they are treated.. I am Russian, but have been in Germany for a while and I can definitely tell you that western men sometimes need to be taught to give flowers, open the door, help with bags, etc, not talking about the way to deal with the lady as with the lady and not a physically attractive object..

    With the rest I pretty much agree although sure the topic is vast :)

  • Peace_ru, well said !

    let me response to your points:

    1. I do not think that bearing power is really conneted with any dependance. I personally know some well educated and well off women in Russia who live with men who, I would say, depend on them /or are alcoholics – and these wonderful ladies can not leave these men beause of a “pity feeling” or whatever… This is something I guess can not be explained rationally.

    2. Again, I know quite a number of well educated Russian ladies (in fact, I dont know any not educated Russian ladies :) who seek a foregin husbad for different reasons. In a way, I think there are lots of facsinating chances for an educated Russian lady for working and living abroad, and if some feel like it, let them do so. Most of the Russian girls in Austria (married to Austrians) I know are quite happy and very well settled BECAUSE of their education.

    3. Yes, in many way Russian man can teach the Westernes a lesson! :) In fact, I keep teasing my Austrian collegues with stories about the way Russina men treat their women (stuff like flowers, opening doors, etc.) – and it works!
    On top of that, my husband is Ukranian. I would say, if Russians would not drink, they would be just the best :))

    • I most definately agree with the long article on Russian Women. I have been living in Dallas, Texas for th3e last few years and have been attending a Russian Ortodox Church. I have quite a few friends that are Russian. I am a fashion designer myself and the thype of ladies that I will only be aquiring are from Europe/Russian. Not blacks or hispanics nor other types. I love the Russian Ballet as well as classical music and the renaisance that surrounds it. Who is the lady posted on this website. She looks like a ballerina. I also have an understanding of the Russian culture. I would like to go and visit if not, get crazy and live there. Well, I hope to get some sort of response. Something about Russia feels like a home to me.
      Sincerely:Perfecto Rodriguez II
      Ti Ochen Krasibaya…krasabista♥

  • :)

    ok, Axinia, first and third points- true.

    but for the second one, yeap, sure many nicely educated ladies are married to foreign husbands, but I am not quite sure how many of them did so via marriage agencies.. it could have been a different thread: job abroad–>meeting a nice guy__>falling in love..there is nothing wrong with being married to a guy of a different nationality if that is love..
    but something seems to be very unnatural about advertisements of the type “a foreigner is looking for a Russian girl” and we have then to ask the people working in agencies for the statistics about the types of women who fall for such ads :)

  • Which nationality Axinia? Germany was not always where it is now. Nor Austria, France, Spain, Ukraine, Poland, Sweden, etc. People seem too wrapped up in insignificant things.
    Slavic, Caucasian, purple, blue, etc. People are people. Backgrounds may be different but so much the same no matter where they or their families are now.
    Weren’t we all supposed to be from the same couple/ branch/ tree/ whatever anyway? Grow up everyone, please. Your bias only makes a simple issue less so.
    :))

  • Dear Jacque LeMoose, but even your blogs speaks of the opposite :) (why Russian women?)

    In fact, I have that “nationality” issue well behind me. Some years ago I was very active in the field of Intercultural communication (was even on Bord of Directors of SIETAR Europa, a huge interdisciplinary network of professionals).
    I believed that knowing other cultures would help mutual understanding and collaboration in all spheres. Later I found out it was often even contra-productive! – but this is another story…
    There are indeed differences, but exactaly that difference make the game of like so nice and captivating, colourful and joyful! And you are right, we are all huma being, and we have much more in common than any possible difference. LOVE, for example :)

  • Oh yes oh wise Axinia. Love breaks these boundaries is given the opportunity to blossom. You write as one who has had loved and lost, and loved again.
    On this there is no equal to pain nor euphoria. Yet in my own experience women speak of it, but practise it not for the life, but only as a short term method to make their lack of character feel good. Like the cock roach to the flame.
    Is there a real woman out there who can give her love to me, or any man, for life, love and long-term? She is the one I seek. My heart is open and crying for her love and attention. Where is my darling?
    I seek so far and wide. Maybe someday, maybe not. Time will tell. I grow tired of waiting sometimes, but reading what you say and trusting as I must, makes me go on in the hope she is out there looking for me to.
    Spasiba Lastochka Moya
    James :(

  • Dear Jacque LeMoose , you are a true poet… wonderufl words!..

    There are people in this world who are able to love for a life-term. How to meet them? I think there are 2 conditions:

    1. This person should be a loving one in general. Should love people in general. And unconditionally. Is difficult but I know such people!

    2. This should be really the “right” person for you. Then it is forever.

    I wish you from the bottom of my heart to meet such a lady.

    And yes, you are right saying about me “You write as one who has had loved and lost, and loved again.” I do love :) Forever.

  • Ohh, now after reading this, how am I supposed to bear with a girlfriend who is not Russian ;-) (…. joking)
    Comments is the part where much stuff happen, don’t you think so?
    Nice place. I am gonna keep on reading.

    Cheers
    Suda.

  • @Suda – what shall I say now?? :))

    I am sory if it looks like Russian women are the best women in the world :)) I am sure, I could write something simily about any other nationa, if only I knew them so well as I know Russians.

    Yes, I enojy the comments – this kind of feedback is just great!

  • I wonder that you still gig not get any angry comment from the Western women :)
    As I am one of them, I would think that to write such a post is rather arrogant.
    But I can not say so for the reason that somehow you words really touch my heart… Something happens… Good post.

  • Hello Katisommer,

    When I read you comment I couldn’t help but to go back and read this post a second time. Your right it is a great post. I think though that regardless of where a person comes from there is a certian element of pride in who they are. I wouln’t call that arrogance. Axinia is proud of being a russian woman and the things that make them speical. For example I also am proud of being Canadian and there are things about us that I value. Things that I see as different when compared to American, British, French, German, or what ever. I’m greatful for the country in which I was born and I don’t care who knows it. I think that feeling is normal. It doesn’t mean that we don’t respect each other. I love many different cultures and I can tell from the authers many other posts that she does as well.

    The point being made is not about “we’re perfect and your not”. The fact is that know matter how proud we are living in the west we have a real crisis on our hands and anyone can see that if they are completely honest with themselves. Family life is no longer a priority. (The main reason many of our countries are still experincing growth is mainly because of immigrants) I live in a part of the country were the death rate is higher than the birth rate. That’s really scarry. Lets wake up before things get much worse. Take the time to look back at the past and see how much things have changed in the last three generations. Then you should ask yourself why?

    Sometimes it’s easier for someone who’s looking in from the out side to see and know our own faults better than we do our selves. Keep in mind that this does work both ways. The important thing though is that we learn to axcept ciritizisim with out being offended. An actor, a musician, a poet, or a painter never became great with out it. So it would be just as wise for western men and western women to listen and try to find ways of improving themselves.

    Russian men aren’t perfect, and Russian woman aren’t either but maybe there are still some things that thay can teach us. And hopfully we can reawaken our past and create a better future.

    Newfoundlander

  • @katisommer: I was expecting this kind of a comment :) And I see you point. IN fact, I keep getting remarks about Russians being basically arrogant. Ther are certain historical and geopolitical reasons for that, it is just there. But I am glad you (as many others) could feel the true message of love in my article.

    Newfoundlander,
    thanks a million, you write like a true knight! It looks like it is the topic you know very well :) It is not a common thing that a modern Western person realises that “The fact is that know matter how proud we are living in the west we have a real crisis on our hands and anyone can see that if they are completely honest with themselves. ”
    Well said!

  • very interesting Axinia, Looking at you and your photos I can’t argue about beauty of Russians! ;-)

    Since you always hell bent on calling me brother!:-( , I am checking whether you have any sisters! hahahah.

    apart from joking, I have quite a few Russian friends who are very smart and very beautiful, Indians share one common character with Russian women, that is we are very fond of colors. I am sure you can support me here. you are very fond of colors too!

  • Suresh, dear, what a wonderful comment!

    Beauty is not that much important, I hope it is mostly the inner beauty that is shining through :)

    Regarding sisters – the last picture of this post is actually of ym own sister(who is a singer and happily married).

    As for Indians and Russians – I find we have a lot in commons, from love to colours to spirituality, also some bad ones like corruption :)

    And yes, I LOVE colours!

  • Dear Axinia!
    Your are right, if only peple from Siberia would wear fur-coats, we wouldn´t have this horrible farms in which the animals are suffering extreme. Unfortunately, these days it became modern, to wear this coats, not because the cold.
    If we think, we have to respect Mother Earth, so it includes also, to respect the animals and to treat them in a respectful way.
    Of course, we have to use products and meat from them, but we have to keep animals in ways appropriate to their species – and this is of shure not in an fur-farm.
    Love, Michaela
    p.s. Im sorry, because this was of course not the main theme of your post, but I think it is very important not to forget our responsibilieties for the animals, and as far as we can, not to support their suffering.

  • bharatti108,

    If you were to go to western Canada or anywhere in the far north you would know that Siberia is not the only place were there is extreme cold. However I do agree that we should respect nature and the environment. Just remember that there is legitimate use for fur products. It’s not like killing elephants for piano keys and tigers to stuff or hang on a wall.

    I am very sad when I see all the attention and the millions of dollars being spent on protecting animal rights while the rights of people are ignored. Our world is suffering from disease, hunger, and war. Which is more important? Also it is usually the poorer classes of society who get harrassed and defamed just for merely for trying to put food on the table. Shame on PETA and its many rich supporters that live in sunny California. They have no idea what its like to be cold, homeless, and hungry. Therefore they have no right to criticize. How dare they have a holyer than thou attitude when they themselves have no needs to be provided for. They should help their fellow man first and then perhaps in turn they will be helping the animals and the envirnment as well.

    Some people from wealthy western countries seem to think in their sheltered lives that they have evolved to a point were they no longer depend on furs and meat products. If they were to wake up they would discover a whole world out there that doesn’t revolve around them and their easy money. But yes, unfortionatly its’s not a perfect world.

    Ofcoarse we do need to respect nature but we need to respect each other as well. So, for those of us with high moral standards we can’t change the world by telling it what to do but we can influence it by the examples we set.

    Newfoundlander

  • Dear Nova, thanks for your kind appreciation and all sweet comments! :)

    Newfoundlander:
    your reasons are very true!
    it is amazing how the human beings are easy to manupulate: basically all such organisations like PETA are created by corporations in order to let the young people to stem off and thus – put their attention away from more important problems! I see on the streets of Vienna many active youngsters protesting agains furcoats, but none against the poverty and rassism, and all that… There are lots of people in this world who want to engage themselves into benevolent projects, but fighting aginst furcoats seem to be the easiest way to satisfy this need for social activity and volonteering.
    Although it is an offtopic for this post on Russian women :) I feel good discussing this issue with all of you here. Thanks!

  • Hi all,
    I think you all are doing a great job by writing great things about Russian women. Well, I would also like to add this:

    My name is Shrot Katewa and I am a Sahaja Yogi from India. I am working in a rural place called Bagar, which is in the desert state of Rajasthan, India. We have opened an all women run rural BPO for the empowerment of women. In a place where women are supposed to cover their head with a purdah, and not supposed to leave there houses. In a place where women are looked down upon, and have not visited the market even once in seven years after their marriage, thinking of opening a BPO is in itself a challenge. Despite such heartening challenges, creating a set of hardworking and dedicated “women-power” who had not even seen a computer in their life and successfully executing a project which earned itself as the “best in quality throughout India” in 21 firms, within a time period of 2 months has been the highlight of this BPO. But now it seems to be running out of Projects.
    So if we guys are really proud of women(Russian or in general), we should make sure that this BPO survives. Being situated in a rural place, it can provide high quality at competitive costs. For more details of the services and about other information visit:
    http://www.sourceforchange.in
    or contact Shrot Katewa at shrotkatewa@gmail.com
    Phone number- + 91 99 29 40 57 85

  • Thanks for describing the nature of Russian women, Axinia. I believe the beauty of a woman lies in her feminity and Russian women are very feminine and beautiful! :-) It’s great to know that the Soviets regarded women as important to the country, as opposed to most of the West and the Middle-East where women are seen as inferior to men and the East where women are seen mainly as child-bearers and child-rearers.

    I, too, believe that spirituality developed without any organised religion is the best one. Spirituality is something that has to come from one’s own heart. It simply cannot be imposed by religion.

    And it’s nice to know that you blog in three different languages. I’m not finding it easy to integrate a few Tamil posts in my English blog.

  • Raj, enjoyed your comment very much :) Nice to see you understand me so well.
    BWT, I have already a good blogging friend in Chennai, there are obviously great people there! :))

  • Raj,

    I think there is a difference between organized religion and spirituality. Atleast there should be! Spirtuality must be individualy developed yes, but coming together as a larger group reinforces ones convictions. Spirtuality without support and love from others is a lonely faith indeed. Those of us who share common objectives are never alone. Its like being part of a bigger family outside of the biological one. (The only time religion is imposed is when free thinking individuals choose not to think for themselves.)

    From my experince living here in the west it seems the more people try to distance themselves from organized religion the less spiritual they become. They end up throwing it all out together and lose touch with who they are as men and women. They no longer have a since of identity or a purpose in life. They equate love with materalism and pleasure. Sad to say this is their main reason for living.

    Raj, Im not sure what part of the west you were refering to but I do know that here in North Americia women have gone far beyond equality with men in almost all catigories. Femiinism strives for eqaulity between male and female yet traditional religions contridict this. Therefore they either give up religious faith or change it to suit their Ideals. Either way they lose out on the benifits of spirituality and the meaningful family life. I would hardly describe them as “child bearers and child rearers”. Infact Canadian women have a little less than half as many children as do our foreign imigrents to the country and I can say that the US is probibly not much different.

    So because russian woman have a purpose in life and because they aknowledge their faith, are spiritual, and don’t deny their routes or supress their feminity and motherly natures, they have more depth and soul. These great women understand that to be unequal does not mean less than. They are not of less value, instead we men would treasure them more than our own lives. After all, is not family of more value than any career fame or fotune to be had. Most russian women get this. It’s something to be proud of and not something to be ashamed of. Inferior? I think not. They have so much to give.
    On the other hand, western society and modern thinking has made many of us quite shallow.

    Religion and spirituality? I don’t think you can separate the two. You say Spirituality comes frome the heart. Ultimately is that really true? Who made the heart?

    Newfoundlander

  • Newfoundlander/Atlantic,

    I am not sure if you have misunderstood my comment. I did not mean to say that women in the West and the Middle-East are inferior to men or women in the East are child-bearers and child-rearers. Not at all. I am very sorry if my comment sounded that way.

    What I meant was those societies have a tendency to view women in such a manner. But women all over the world are fighting for their rights and they deserve to be given their rights. As you mentioned, North American and European women may have achieved equality. If they want more respect and rights than men, it must be given to them. That is what I feel and it is a personal opinion.

    I am not sure if men would treasure women if women accept inequality, even if it does not mean less than. Inequality tends to generate more inequality over a period of time. I guess women would be treasured only if they demand equality and maybe more.

    Since we are men, it is fine to say that family is of more value than career or fame or fortune as we do not bear children. But if women feel in a different manner, I guess their feelings must be respected.

    About separating religion and spirituality, I think it depends on the religions we believe in. Different religions have different approaches to spirituality. So what is true for one may not be true for another.

    I believe the heart was not made by anyone, but is a product of evolution. Personally, that is what I believe in.

  • Raj,

    Yes, I did understand your comment. I was just trying to point out that there is a big difference between the veiws on women by men in the middle east and of those by men in the west. Women in the west aren’t fighting for equalty because they’re not valued as highly as men. If you understand the meaning of the word you know they want to be men. Atleast they want an equal share of the things that men do. This means giving up the many things that women do, things like being feminine and a great wife and mother. They say if men don’t have to do it why should we? For some reason they think the grass is some how greener on our side of the fence.

    Women in the middle east have had there rights supressed. This is true. My biggest fear is what will happen when they get them. Will they go from one extreme to the other? I hope not. Every human being has the right to be treated with decency and respect. Still, the western feminist revolution is one that will distroy the family and ultimatly the world. I therefore can not agree that freedom in this extreme is a good thing. Every great woman and every great man needs to be kept in line at times. I should hope that I would have the wisdom to know that my girl has my best interest at heart and I have hers. (constructive critic not Abuse!)

    How do you measure Equality? Even between men there is there is no equals. One may be bigger, faster, stronger, more intelligent, more educated…….. Men and women are different therefore they can’t be equal. Atleast not without contradicting the very diffinition of the word. Clearly we have unequal roles within the marrige.

    Take our religons for example, you beleive in evolution and I belive in Christianity. Are these the same? You and I are therefore unequal in our beliefs. Our race may be different and our cultures may be different. Neither of us is inferior to the other but we are not eqauls.
    People generly use the word equal to avoid being called sexist or rasist but why should others be insulted? We are all unique and different. So embrace it. It’s a very beautiful thing.

    Equal rights? Thats a tougher question. Let me put it this way. We should all have the freedom to make our own individual choices. An equal right to love and live how we want but its imposible to have an equal right to do things we weren’t designed to do. We are sirtianly free to try but still I could never be a woman and a woman could never be a man even if we claim to have that right. Wow! Who knew we could accuse nature of discrimination! Why is that so unfair?

    Here in the west when we see two athletes in a competion who are well matched sometimes we say that they are equally matched. However if this were true would there ever be a winner? We as male and females also compete in a little game called life and the prize is not victory but love. Have you ever noticed how oposits attract and not equals. It seems we always seek out partners who are different from us in some way. Why? Because between two equals love could never be achived or the victory won.

    Newfoundlander

  • Raj,

    I too found your veiws interesting. I love to hear a prespective from someone of a different background. I hope that I don’t insult you if we disagree on some things. The thing is (Axinia’s probibly noticed) I’m exceedingly opinionated on a lot of issues. I may also be speaking from a different political and social awarness depending on the different societies we’ve been exposed to. Take care brother.

    Newfoundlander

  • Axinia,

    Yes, I too think it would seem interesting or even strange when we expect someone from a certain culture to think in a certain manner and then discover that they think in a different way. But thought is free and the internet is also free and it is great that we are able to find out how others think :-)

    —————————————————————————————————-

    Newfoundlander/Atlantic,

    Don’t worry, brother. I don’t feel insulted by your views. Everyone has a right to have an opinion and I like to find out how others think as well.

    I agree that no two persons are the same. That is simply not possible. That is why humans are so diverse. Diversity is a great thing that should not be destroyed.

    But there cannot be different rights for different persons. That would be unfair. There should be equal rights for everyone. Infact, I firmly believe that those who are disadvantaged must be given greater rights than those who are not, so that everyone has an equal chance to succeed in life. For instance, differentially abled persons must be given more rights just because they are differentially abled. By doing that, we would give them what Nature has denied them. Though I believe in evolutionary theories, they do not apply to when it comes to human rights. Things like “Might is right” and “Survival of the fittest” are “Laws of the jungle” according to me and they should be left in the jungle.

    I also believe that if someone is asked to perform extra duties, then they should be given extra rights. It is like if one works overtime, one should get adequately paid for that. And overtime work should not be forced on anyone, even if they are paid handsomely for every extra hour of work that they put in. It should be purely voluntary.

    So I think since women are asked to bear children which is something men cannot do, they should be given extra rights and extra respect for doing that. And it should be purely voluntary on the part of women to have children. A woman should not be forced to have a child against her wish. It would be extremely unfair on the part of men to say that women must have children because Nature has conditioned them for motherhood.

    I agree that women in the Middle-East do not have adequate rights. I can only hope that there is a strong feminist movement, like the ones in North America and Europe to liberate women in the Middle-East. The sooner that happens, the better it would be for the whole world.

    If women want to be men, they have a right to do so. I don’t know why we men feel so insecure about ourselves that we fear that the world would become a bad place if women want to become men. On the contrary, I think the world would be a much better place if women are given more rights than men. Even if that means less respect for men. I mean, we men have had so much rights and respect throughout history. We have misused our rights and treated women as second-class citizens. This has happened in almost all societies in the world. So now, I guess the time has come for women to get the respect that they deserve for just being women!

  • Raj, it was a great speech and I am sure feminists would just love you for that (although they are normally not inclined to love men :)))

    I believe that it is not only that everyone should be give the same right – in fact, EVERYONE IS ALREADY GIVEN the same rights. It has only to be understood and respected! The problem I see here is that people do not realise it themselves and let others suppress themselves or misuse… It is a pity you can not meet me in person now, but you can ask anyone who knows me – I am an anti-feminist and at the same time men are extremely respectful and caring towards me. Actually I behave the opposite of these “fighters for women rights” and I get exactly what they want to get. How it is possible? Because I KNOW what I am, and that I am a free person already given every right. If I am that, I don’t need to prove, right? :) Probably it is the matter of self-respect… And also of the respect of my femininity…

  • Axinia,

    Спасибо!

    You have hit the nail on the head! A woman does not necessarily have to be a feminist to fight for her rights. It is enough if women just assert their feminine nature to get the respect that they deserve. True men always respect feminity. At the same time, if women feel that they can get respect from men only by being feminists, I won’t deny them that either :-)

  • thanks,dear! The only problem with you last point is that I have never met a met a man who would respect feminists (lt least not at the bottom if his soul) – probaly you are the only one.

  • Raj,

    You started out by recomending equal rights for everyone, then extra rights for those that are disadvantged , and finally special rights for women or those that do exta work. We need to treat others unequal in order to make equal? I don’t think this makes much sense. But you did raise a good point about those that are disadvantaged needing special privileges in order to level the playing feild and on this part I agree with you. However I fail to see how western feminist women are disadvantaged. They have had a strong infuence on shaping western society for the last couple of generations and things here are getting worse not better. You asume that the world would be a better place if women were given “more rights than men.” This is already a fact of life in America. Perhaps at one time it was the men who were contolling and abused their power. You freely admit that we haven’t done A good job. Still, believe it or not power corupts both men and women. Neither of us is amune to corruption. Special rights and privileges lead people toward a since of intitlement and this is a big contributing factor in materailism. “More wants more.” Will people ever just be satisfied?

    But serously equal is a math term used to measure mass, volume, weight, etc It’s actually a great misuse of the word to try and apply it to people, rights, and freedoms.

    Newfoundlander

  • Newfoundlander,

    this is an absolutely great point you made here!! -

    Still, believe it or not power corupts both men and women.

    It is true, that is why I never judje politicinas – who would behave better at their place? It is a hard thing, to rule and to stay OK. – men or women, does not matter. Unless you are so highly spiritual like Ghandi, but he is truly an exeption.

  • Newfoundlander/Atlantic,

    I agree that power has a tendency to corrupt anyone unless that person is a true saint. So what that essentially means is that those who have power are corrupt to an extent. And around the world, it is we men who have the power. I don’t know if there is any society where women have more power than men. As you mentioned, some countries in North America or Europe may be in a state where women have almost equal power as men. But this is a recent phenomenon. We still do not know how women would use the power if they are given more rights and respect than men. Since we men have not done a good job till now, why not give women a chance?

    I mean, take a look at what is happening in the world where “masculine” attitudes are more dominant. We have war, terrorism, human rights abuses and so on. And who are the persons who are affected the most by those things? The women, ofcourse! Not that men are not affected, but women are affected to a far greater extent than men. Also since men are generally physically stronger than women, they tend to physically abuse women.

    Now, if the world is dominated by “feminine” attitudes, it would be a much better place for all of us. Ofcourse, we men may get less respect than what we do now and some of our rights may be taken away, but so what? I don’t think women will subject men to such cruelty in a a world dominated by them as we have been doing to them to over thousands of years. We men must try to look at the larger picture than just think of ourselves.

  • I too am different when compared to the culture I was brought up in. Raised as a westerner I was taught to beleive in equality and actually beleived it existed. I imagine most men here still do. Guys like me who long for traditonal women would like to think that we’ve woken up and started thinking for ourselves but perhaps it’s to late. I personaly feel its a losing battle. Once an Idea takes hold it usually has to play itself out right to the bitter end but I don’t have to be a part of it nor will I. Atleast for every indiidual man or woman who chooses to be truly selfless there is still hope.

    Just like love you can’t earn your rights. Neither can a christian earn salvation all these things are a free gift. When people begin to say things like “I’ll do this if you’ll do that or give me that” the gift becomes pointless and love impossible. I don’t want to be given rights because I deserve them. I don’t want to be loved and catered to because I think I should be. In the same way I want a woman to love me because she wants to give it freely and I will give it to her as well. Why should she want to fight me for it?

    I think Raj, what you were advocating is your own since of fairness and really not equality at all. What is fairness? Is it giving everyone exactly what they ask for because you think they deserve it? This is western thinking, and I got to tell you that this is the kind of atitude the west has gotten rich and powerful by while others are kept weak and poor. Anything we ask for we have been given. Taking our rights at the expense of everyone else is selfish and is cirtainly not equality.

    Axina, I really liked your comment about Knowing you have rights and feeling free within your own soul. “Atleast thats the way I interpeted it.” I deffinatly think you touched on the route of the problem. It’s really about respecting others as well as your own self. If you do that others will treat you in kind and so there’s no need to fight. Cool…

    Newfoundlander

  • Newfoundlander/Atlantic,

    You made an important point that taking our rights at the expense of everyone else is selfish. I guess you had women in mind when you said that. On the other hand, I have men in my mind when I say taking our rights at the expense of those of women is selfish. I mean, I want men to give up some of our rights if women want it that way.

    I too believe that love should always be free. We men are free all our lives as we do not bear children. But women aren’t so free when they bear children. They have great responsibility thrust on them. Ofcourse, fathers too have some responsibility but that is absolutely nothing when compared to that of mothers. So if women want to be free of the responsibility because we men do not have that to the extent that women do, then why should we deny it to them?

    Is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” not a principle of Christianity? I guess this applies to the relationship between a man and a woman as well. Once men realise this, then women would not have to fight for their rights or respect. We men would automatically respect women for what they are and give them whatever they want. If they want the same rights as men, then we would have to give them that. If they want more respect for what they are asked to do, then we would have to give them that as well.

    Being men, we will never know what women go through because of their physiological and emotional characteristics. Ofcourse we may have a different set of characteristics that women may not understand completely. But I will never, ever deny that it is easy being a man but it can be very difficult being a woman at times. Since women already go through so much without even having children, if they do not want to go through any more because of children, why should we deny them that? I mean, we men are fairly simple fellows. Our needs are fairly simple when compared to those of women. So if women too want to simplify their needs and responsibilities, why should we deny them that?

  • Raj,

    I’m sorry I missed your last comments. I have to say though that I’m totally with you on that one, so long as we can have leaders as sweet and diplomatic as Axinia! Just remember one thing, women like that are not so easy to come by here in the west. You are indian, and I can imagine indian woman are still very feminine and have a totaly different set of values. The women you see and know are likely a lot different than the ones I do. For me as a westerner haveing to choose between currupt male leaders and women with extreme fiminist veiws, that would be a tough call. Honestly I don’t think there’s a difference.
    (There must not be. After all, if I were a full blooded American I would actually consider voting for Hillery Clinton!) My way of thinking is that a feminist can’t possibly do any worse than George W. Bush!

    Getting in touch with our feminine side? Yep, I’m with you on that too. More importantly, the women here could work on that as well. It seems to me that power is the ultimate culprit in the loss of feminity and so I’m not sure your plan will work. Than the question becomes, is the risk worth the reward? Would we distroy the true bueaty of women that are left with what ever it is that is distroying the west and then at the end of the day have nothing to show for it. Thats my fear.

    Anyway, haven’t you ever heard the old saying “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”. Woman really have always had a voice not to mention the countless queens who have ruled throughout the centries in Europe. Some of them were really quite ruthless and I’d hardly discribe them as feminine. Still, find a girl who is and I’ll let her rule my world any day! If she wants to. No complaints!

    Newfoundlander

  • Newfoundlander/Atlantic,

    I guess you are correct when you say that Indian women are very feminine when compared to those in the West. I respect their feminity very much. But our culture has actually brainwashed them into believing that only by being good daughters and wives and mothers, they would be good women.

    Infact, many women here still believe that they would not be “complete” women if they do not experience motherhood atleast once in their lives. I will never say that they should not believe in that. But it should be left to each woman to decide for herself. No one else should decide for her. If a woman wants to have five or seven children, that is fine as long as it does not affect her health and as long as her husband is willing to be the father of so many children. If a woman does not want to have even a single child, that should be accepted by everyone as it is her wish. Afterall, it is the woman who is going to bear the child and not the man.

  • Raj,

    When I used the word “our” that is exactly what I ment. I would never single out women alone. Both men and women could be considerd selfish. Sorry if it wasn’t clear.

    I guess I just find it a little odd that you put such a high value on the importance of women while holding such low values of men. I value both and not one above the other. It is easy for me to lean more toward women as their love is truely beautiful to me as a man but I can’t deny the impact that a husband has on the family either. I also feel that I as a man should want to be husband, should want to be a providor, and be the best father I can be. Biologicly I was created to be this and if some how for some reason I didn’t want to experince this great gift than there’s something wrong with my priorities. In the same way, children are the most amazing and fulfilling of lifes challenges that a woman could face. You don’t commit you life to family with the expectation of special privleges. Nor do you want them. Is not love enough? Yes, we do try to do what ever we can to please each other but not because we should or have to. If we were to use these reasons our love would be half hearted to say the least. My point is men don’t need to force women to take up their roles as mothers and I don’t recomend it, but I would say that if they won’t men should seek out real women that will and leave the others to their money and careers. The same holds true for men who value “things” more than love and family. Ladies those guys are hopeless!

    Newfoundlander

  • Thanks for the Chat Raj your veiws are really truely unexpected but as my sabbath is coming in I guess I’ll have to pick this up another day. Take care.

    Newfoundlander

  • Raj,

    “Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you” is one of the great teachings that Jesus taught. In the context in which it was writen it has more to do with meeting people were their needs are than treating people all the same. Infact when Christ spoke about it in Luke Chapter 6 he was refering to loving ones enemies, doing good unto those who hate you, and not expecting anything in return. Jesus lived by this and it was for this philosophy that he died but he did not always give people the exact things they asked for and wanted. One of the most important reasons is that not everything we want is nessarily good for us. Some things may not seem harmful in small amounts but they can quickly become a bigger and more important part of our lives. Remember that people are shaped and molded by the things they value the most.

    Feminists fight for rights and laws to protect themselves and to give them an advantage with men. The problem is that men at times have been put at a disadvantage. Men that have been hurt have begun to organize groups like the mens rights movement, with the hope of making new rights and laws to protect themselves. These rights and laws would potentiallly hurt women and the cycle continues. These laws also cause mistrust and conflict between the sexes. Forgivess is one thing but “trust” once lost is most exceedingly difficult to regain. Love without trust? Can you guess why marriges are failing?

    One wrong won’t fix a problem and neither will two wrongs make a right. Anytime people fight for rights useing force to get their own way someone ends up getting hurt and possibly loses there own rights. There’s always a trade off. Wheither the agressor thinks they deserve these rights or not, is not a good enough reason. The histroy of North America ilistrates this point and I think it fits very well with this discussion in some ways. As it is widely known America can be arogant and and agressive at times in matters of business and politics. (To be fair they do lots of good things too!) Ofcourse, Canada on the other hand is a little more laid back but what you may not have known is that these two countries have a history of being very different wihich goes right back to the founding fathers. Though their separation ocurred close to two hundred years ago, the difference politicaly can still be felt. Both countries are British in decent. (Minus the French) During the early days of settlement America wanted their rights and the freedom to rule themselves and so they rebeled against the British crown. However the northern colonies remained loyal. In the war that followed in 1775 countless and needless lives were lost as they tried to push the Britsh from our connent. America did manage to win their freedom but thousands of amercan loyalists from the south were made homeless and forced to flee north to what is now known as Canada. They were forced to give up their rights so that everyone else could have freedom. You would think that once a person has won their rights they’ed be satisfied but they weren’t. In 1812 when the British were otherwise ocupied in a war with France America once again tried to defeat Canadain loyalists. Perhaps Britain had ristricted some of america’s rights but their behavior was no different. Once again more lives were lost as they tried to force American will on Canada. These colonists had done nothing wrong outside of the desire to be Loyal to the commonwealth. After three years and two major invasions the war ended.

    My point is this, yes, America did get rights and freedom and yes, they have a right to be proud of it, but at what cost? Canada also has its rights and freedom as well and they are just as proud. More over not a drop of blood was shed or a single right taken. It was a free gift from Britain after its contributions in world war 1. What can I say? I guess whether it’s matters of a political nature or involves the relations between men and women I still lean to the loyalist way of thinking. By the way, I’m proud to be half American as well. (Smile)

    Raj, there is good reason why men or women don’t feel “complete” without children. Ofcoarse I don’t think women should be forced to have them. On the other hand, I don’t really know of many societies that would use force in this day and age. I guess this is a right that woman have pretty much always had. I mean, it’s there body right? But in a society thats not broken down this would be the exception and not the norm. Russian and Indian women as well as many other nationalities all want children with few exceptions. There was a time only a couple of generations ago when western women were not all that much different. I’m sure I don’t know all the reasons why this has changed. It’s really quite complicated and I don’t doubt that men have played some part in it as well. The last thing I want to do is to simply blame women. That’s just to easy.

    Newfoundlander

  • Raj,

    You mentioned Indian women being brainwashed into having children. Are you sure you want them? Just curious.

    Newfoundlander

  • Newfoundlander/Atlantic,

    I have not read the Bible but I do believe it contains several truths. And yes, I consider Jesus Christ as one of the great masters who walked upon this Earth.

    I wholeheartedly agree with you that it is not only men who hurt women. The reverse is equally true. While it is only a cowardly man who will hurt a woman physically, even wonderful women can hurt men emotionally at times. And I again wholeheartedly agree with you that laws cause so much mistrust and conflict between the sexes. There are a few nasty laws in my country that do this as well. Women always know how to use words to their own advantage, so they always have the upper hand when it comes to using things like the law to hit out at men with sharp words. Swords cause physical pain but words cause emotional pain. And the poor men who are hurt do not know how to express themselves emotionally, so they bear it silently.

    I don’t know why marriages fail. I guess there are different reasons in different countries. Also, Atlantic, have you ever noticed this simple thing about an argument between a man and a woman: men choose to attack concepts and ideas but women choose to attack men.

    My textbooks did not contain much information about the history of Canada and Mexico. But they always portrayed the American War of Independence as the American Revolution and it was given almost as much coverage as the French Revolution. I guess the historians in my country wanted to compare American Independence with our own Independence that happened much later. And yes, India has more in common with the U.S.A. than it does with Canada or Australia, for instance. But I have always admired Canada and Australia as those countries have great respect for Human Rights. I pray that Indians learn to respect Human Rights as much as the Canadians and the Australians do.

    I guess the reasons for the Canadian and American Independence were different because of the different nature of the two countries and also because of the different times at which they occurred. Britain was quite a strong power at the time of the American Independence but was considerably weakened by the time of World War I. Also it matters who you are fighting against. I believe some of the British imperialists had a conscience despite all their arrogance. So non-violence was an effective means of protest against the Brits. M. K. Gandhi realised this and used the power of Truth and conscience very effectively against the Brits. It would be have been ridiculous to use the power of Truth against the Nazis, for instance. And I believe in revolutionary ways of thinking, though I am not a fan of violence.

    I don’t know about women in other countries, Atlantic, but Indian women are not as liberated as you think they are. I have read about some shocking cases where women have been the greatest enemy of other women. This led me to believe that one half of the female population often turns out to be the greatest enemy of the other half but I am glad to know that this is not always true in the Western world. I never blame the women, though. They have been brainwashed by the patriarchal societies in which they live.

    Newfoundlander, I did not say that Indian women are brainwashed into having children. I said they are brainwashed into believing that they are not complete women if they don’t have children. While the first sentence means the use of active methods of brainwashing, the second one implies the use of passive methods.

    About myself, I never impose my views on anyone. I always believe that women have more reproductive rights than men as they are the ones who bear children. So I shall leave it to the woman to decide. In any case, it would be a personal thing between the husband and the wife, though I believe the wife should have the final say in issues such as this.

  • Thanks for the complement Axina. And rest assured that we both value your own thougts and writing skills much more than our own, veiwing your efforts with great admiration!

    Newfoundlander

  • I wholeheartedly agree with Atlantic, Axinia, thank you! This exchange of thoughts is the best one I have been involved in on any blog. I mean, for two persons who are so different, one a deeply religious Canadian Christian man and the other a freethinking Indian man who does not believe in any religion, this post is of such a high quality, because of the inputs of a secular socialist Russian woman :-)

  • Axinia,

    Yes, I realized as much from your negitive veiws on liberal and Capitalist Ideas. You will find that American and Canadian people are somewhat predudice toward communism. Partly because they don’t understand it and partly because of the peceived ristrictions on freedom. They have become notorious for brutal regemes who generally hold their power through force. It is also true that communism more often than not has failed to bring the peace and prosperity that was promised. But on the other hand, capitalism has succeeded in bringing prosperity to the western world. I think I understand your veiws? “Many times posperity is taken at the expense of the environment as well as the poorer of the worlds nations.” However I would say that there are elements of truth and value in both ways of thinking. Again its about meeting a reasonable balance.

    Raj is right, I am a conservitive Christian. But I think Axinia, you’ll be more supprised to know that I am also a political liberal. It may seem strange to you, and yet I stand on the side of many of the same people I disagree with. Also, because of my beleifs in the teachings of Christ I have some leanings toward Communist ideas as well. Like I said, it takes elements of all to truly make a political system great! I wish more people could understand this principle. It’s never a matter of “us against them.” This kind of thinking gets people on the defensive puting up walls and closeing the door to compromise. The same holds true for matters of religion.

    Newfoundlander

  • Newfoundlander,

    Under communism I understand THE PURE form of it, and not the funny system we had in the Soviet Union (bwt, it was calles socialism, not communism!!!). The true communism has never happend yet on this Earth, but hopefully it will one day.
    At least one day, when peple of all the nations and religion will fell like ONE being. Above all I am a big idealist, and I belive in the best :)
    May be not in our life time…

    Please see my article on communism, then it will be more clear what I mean:

    http://1000petals.wordpress.com/2008/02/23/what-is-really-wrong-with-capitalism-or-why-i-believe-in-communism/

  • Axinia,

    Your eternal optimism is very cute. It’s a big part of what I love about you. Actually I think all three of us are not as different as we might seem. Over all we do want the same things. We only differ in the areas of education and experince. When you can appreciate that in a individual than that’s what makes comunication great. Talking to someone with the exact same beleifs, toughts, or ideas is kind of like talking to yourself. A person can learn and solve some problems alone, but we work much better as a cohesive unit. I think solutions and problems are better solved by people with different backgrounds useing their own unique lodgic and understanding of history. Each of us have things that we understand better than another. And, if each individual realizes that not all his or her beleifs, thoughts, or ideas is nessarily right one hundred percent of the time, than there’s always hope for change in ones life and the world at large. We bring out the best in each other. You know what? This kind of thinking makes some good marriage sense too.

    Newfoundlander

  • Newfoundlander, this comment is absolutely wonderfull, thanks a lot :)

    Basically I believe that people are not differnt at all – it is only that differnt feelings and thought are arising at differnt times, but basically we are all from the same dough, right?

    However one thing which is definitly same about you, Raj and me (and most of my readers), that we are all spiritual people. Then we truly speak the same language, the language of the spirit – and it is a pure, clear one!

    Any discussion, however clever and intelligent it is – is for me something much more, it is a talk of the souls…this is more important and also more beautiful than any smart arguments and sharings…dont you agree? For it is the comfort of the heart that we seek, also in a marriage, right? :))

  • I agree with both of you. We are all the same at one level. But everyone takes a different path because of circumstances. Actually, life is all about choice. But our choices are limited by our own actions. In other words, we have a choice as long as it is the one we make!

    When we share the thoughts from our souls, we realise that we are similiar in more ways than we can imagine.

  • Having lived here in germany for 2 years, i have met few Russian women. I don’t know about the beauty part much as i met only a few of them. But i was moved by the warmth these women had even when i was not well known to them , just like the Indian women and probably more open (may be coz they were inquisitive about the Indian culture). At the same time, they were fun and i was very comfortable in their company as compared to Germans, where i always thought, ”Something has seriously gone wrong with ppl in this country or may be i am a social outcast”, ok not that serious but pretty much.

  • Axinia,

    Thanks for the forum and your clear explanations. I recently have been in correspondence with a russiian woman. She is very beautiful and I have a myriad of pictures from her. Soon she will be traveling to America to meet me. She absolutely adores me

    Although this has not been an issue between us but what is the sentiments of Russian Women and African American Men? I am African American and of course there are very few black people in Russian at all. What do you think my challenges would be if any?

    You may say it should not be a worry if she adores me and I agree. I’m just doing my homework on her culture and the reception of the people in Russia on people of color. I’m sure there are not many Interracial couples walking down the streets of St Petersburg holding hands ;-)

  • Hi, landed here through Nita’s blog. No offence but I dont really buy the whole country X people are beautiful, country Y people are hard-working etc etc. We tend to forget that borders and countries are relatively new phenomena and nations are usually distinguished by their founding principles and politics, not by genes and culture.

    So much of beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I do feel that due to western colonization and cultural dominance it is the West European standard that gets applied almost everywhere.

    One thing that I do know distinguishes the majority of Indian (and Asian) women from their middle-eastern and western counterparts is the fact that most of them have worked in fields throughout our history. This is because Asian societies were almost entirely agrarian, and still are to a great extent.

  • HI DEAR AXINIA this is shobhit from india , new delhi . this is wonderful article and iam happy to see that someone is expressing their country in this manner . axinia i hav heard that russian woman and local people adore indian music and movies and i hav heard that russian woman hav even married some of indian man. i hav read ur blog and can guess that russian and indian culture are bit same . dear axinia u can see that all the qualities of russia woman hav like caring , forgiving , cultural value and family welfare is same u can found in indian woman also . indian woman is very strong and value husband and his family. i hav read and hav chat with many russian and ukrainian ladies and can see that they are ready for every thing like happy family . I HAV A QUESTIONS FOR U-:
    1) did russian woman respect different culture and will keep marriage like indian woman ?
    my e mail is COOL_SHANU2000@YAHOO.COM , mail me if any any lady wanna come to india for visit and mail me any lady who wanna friend ship . iam 21 yrs old chartered accountant final year student from new delhi

  • I once dated a girl from Russia. That was five years ago… and even though it ultimately wasn’t going to work out between us, I miss many of her qualities which you describe so well. Her personality was heart-warming and her smiling eyes always pulled me “into the now”, sort of melting away any anxiety. Those were good days…

  • Hi Axinia,

    I happened to come upon your blog by accident, and I must say, it has taken up a large portion of my time this morning! I must say you write very passionately, and your posts are a joy to read.

    This particular post interested me, not just because I am currently dating a Russian woman in the US (I’m Indian, and we’ve been together for over 3 years) but also because of the very interesting discussions in the comments. It seems this post has been generating interest for almost a year now!

    Kudos to you.

    I agree with everything you said in this post. It even turned out that while I was on a path of losing my spirituality before I met my girlfriend, (due to various factors) she put me right back on track! I do love her so!

    Good luck in all your endeavors!

    • hi, your site is a good idea, however I think it does not show the Russian girls somehow diffrent form others – I mean I see same girls also here in Austria…Beatuiful and well dressed girls can be found everywhere in the world, at some places more at some less.
      HOnestly,There is really something special about RUssian girls, and I hope you will be able to show it too…GOOD LUCK! :)

  • Propaganda. Isn’t that it that way everywhere? America does the most charity. Women are no different here. Even Russian males agree….

    • so true. Russian women are not all angels. far from that. those who abandon their children and elderly parents or travel all over the world to golddig are mostly Russian.

  • What an interesting post. I wish I could relate to these amazing qualities that you have found in Russian women. However, my personal experience as a Russian differs greatly. My mother, grandmothers and aunts, all having been raised in the Soviet Union, have usually been harsh, cruel and unloving. They have been indoctrinated with the communist values of “career and work is number one and family is second-place”. I was raised like a little soldier, always being told I am not good enough and that I have to be the best – and I was often not even allowed to cry because this showed weakness. These are the Russian values I am familiar with. I thought most Russian families are like this, as I saw many of my Russian friends being treated in a similar manner.

    And as far as “Russian beauty” is concerned…I have lived in many different countries in Europe and on the American continent, and never have I heard anyone say that Russian women are beautiful. On the contrary, the majority always said they were ugly and weird-looking. The Slavic face is considered especially ugly in Europe, and they can usually tell if you are Eastern European straight away, after which you are labeled as ugly. In my experience, the Russian girls who are considered “pretty” in any way abroad are those who look the least Russian and the least Slavic, and who sort of “blend in” with the Western crowd. Russian people in general are not liked in most European countries; they are often considered rude, uneducated, loud, weird-looking and unpleasant. I’m not criticizing your post, of course; what you wrote was wonderful and surprising. I’m just sharing another point of view from the Western world, where I have lived for more than 10 years now.

    • Eva, thanks a lot for your contribution.
      In fact, I find your comment very surprsing because I live in Europe since 12 years and I see just the opposite of what you write! :)
      At least regarding education, Russians in the everage are much better educated than Europeans, and the quality of education is higher. I have seen it may a times…And heard a lot from my Western friends.

      I think it also depends a lot WHO are these Russians you mean. When i go to Germany and see the so called Russians (Who are in fact the “russian” Germans) they may very well fit into what you describe.
      IF you go to Austria, where I happily live, you can see the most attractive, elegantly dressed, best educated and charming Russians living here – and that is the common image.
      Generally Russians enjoy a very positive /prestigious image in Austria. I guess it is because the immigrants here are the ones with a different background (compared to the Russians in Germany).
      Since noone is wating fro us here, we have to be double as good as the locals and we actually are. :)

  • I am a Jewish Asian from Mumbai India….I found my Beautiful Russian Woman by the name of Anastasiya from an online dating site…she has all the qualities that I seek in a wife…she is not Jewish…but her character traits are more Jewish than Jewish women…God Willing she’ll become my future wife…

  • Bolshoye spasibo za etu zapis! The past five years of my life I have been studying the ever-complex, beautiful Russian language and learning about the rich culture. Reading this entry really brought out the reasons why I find friendships with Russian girls so much easier than friendships with Americans. As an American girls at university, I’ve found that I’m often expected to make the first move, and be socially outgoing in a way that I feel is almost aggressive. We’re also expected to maintain a ceaseless bubbly, bright disposition. However, my contact with long-term Russian exchange students felt more natural, playful, and stimulating. These girls don’t shy away from thought-provoking questions, they comprehend sarcasm, and they understand the absolute importance of passion, love and beauty. Perhaps it has something to do with the manner in which I was raised (my mother had a very French outlook on parenting) but I find relating to these women so much easier than relating to their American counterparts. Cheers to this thoughtful blog and wonderful entry. Bravo!

  • I was more that 3 months is Russia.
    Since then, I have NEVER seen such beautiful women.
    In fact in Saint Petersburg, I was confronted with such a Beauty @ a Travel-agency,
    man o man,
    that girl really did divide me into exact same sized halves :-)

    Salute

  • interesting post.i´m a young 24 years old woman from germany (bavaria) ,and here are some long-winded ( i already excuse in advance) thoughts of mine on that topic…beauty east vs west..etc blabla..

    few years ago i had a phase when i always wanted to look more like someone else..and yes,i especially admired women/ girls from the east,lets say,japanese,russians,czech women (<-still eastern to me,haha)…usually you look for qualities you dont possess on your own,as those you mentioned: soft,rounded features,plump lips,long strong hair etc…if this were indeed THE qualities of being feminine,i would obviously fail being a feminine woman forever.and western men kept on praising them (at least on certain sites on the internet)….then again,it made me wonder….are there really OBVIOUS feminine/masculine features? to be honest,i never really was attracted to western men (i like slavic men ;-) ), because they dont seem very masculine to me,they have a weird fragile vibe going on about them,long eyelashes,narrow face,sometimes this long piano fingers (meh)….so i could well understand if western men like more "exotic" women too,they just dont look like their sisters )) what i want to say,in short: i think you put yourself,sooner or later,as the standart for feminine/masculine (just to feel better,lol,its human behaviour-thats simply how it is).sure,one could say russian women are more feminine because of the qualities listed above,but i miss other feminine qualities in them,such as a certain subtleness,freshness,..in fact i think many of them are quite "resolut" (dont get me wrong-in fact thats rather a good thing,lol),and their round/wide faces also can look,on extreme,rather robust and strict and "too" expressionate….just like the rather narrow and subtle ,balanced,sometimes boring european faces can look dainty.indeed i think the main problem of "the" western woman is,that she doesnt really know in which colors or textures she looks good (certainly not the bright colors are asian women would look great in or this horrible neon color trend..),and her sense for aesthetics and arts is in general slightly underdevellopped.
    oh,and sure,the nutrition.young western women have just as beautiful bodies as women everywhere else on the world,i doubt that has anything to do with hormones (okay,well-sure,the hormon level can also change by *stress*,for example-but thats not because we are genetically more masculine,but simply,sadly,due to outter circumstances)…russian women often have lower voices,which i also rather saw as not "typical" feminine…well,in the end,i just think things arent soooo easy,like we sometimes wish (i tend to categorize too a lot,but then change my mind few days later…).think of yin and yang,in each of them there is a part of the other,isnt it?there are just more than one way of being feminine,and each one is equally beautiful.i hate how women always should look the same.there are also many different types of flowers,arent they? :) some are more bold,some are exotic,some shy ,but they are all beautiful.western women just have to find out again,what really suits them,and yes,its indeed also a question of spirituality,inner composure and so on.
    nationality is really one of the last things i would take into consideration when it comes to the charm of a woman,in fact,it just limits you.i´m from the west and i an proudly say,i do enjoy colors,make up,get inspiration from here and there,but i also mix it up with (vintage)western style,or even bavarian clothing.i hesistated long before,because people on the streets here stare at me if i dress feminine,but i dont really care anymore :-)

  • A ridiculous panegeric. The Russian women i have know, including a wife, are mysterious to a western man, indeed. they are also suspicious and capable of tremendous emotional cruelty. they will cut off their own hands, if they know it will hurt you. they are not forgiving. they imagine the worst, they are paranoid, cold as ice, and not “spiritual” or loyal at all. They think of their own preservation above all else and will use sex and anything else they have to get what they want. Do you want proof of how wonderful Russian women are for their men? Look at the average of death for Russian men. Compare that to men in the West or East. Those veragoes wear out their men. Average life span is in the early to mid 60s. enjoy your wonderful Russian women, boys! It may be the last thing you do. Rather than create some kind of liberated person, communism produced broken people who had to resort to terrible things to survive. Those traits are still very much part of the “Russian soul.”.

  • Thanks for this great article!
    I am deeply interested in studying russian women. So, dear all, I am conducting a survey about russian women – Who are they? What is important to them? Are they changing?
    A really important part of this study is understanding how Russian women are perceived outside Russia. I ask you to help me with this by completing this survey. It would take you about 7 minutes to answer it, but your contribution to understanding Russian women will be enormous!!!
    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1M3fMWcaUGD8mSC8RrsIcofyWfuOrLgsK_oKLBKX-SlQ/viewform

  • Your post is one of the most silly ones ever read in my whole life!! What do you mean with the sentence “western women have their body shaped as an apple!?? OMG!!! Am Italian, and very far from being a freaking apple!!! Your culture is very materialistic, Russian women in Italy get merried only with rich guys, they absolutely do not care about values or other important thing to care in case of getting engaged with a men. They only care about bags, shoes, clothes, etc etc. They are so pathetically committed in buying every stupid thing that make them looking rich to everybody else’s eyes. One more thing: wearing furs, means being so posh and cruel!! How can you kill animals to be beautiful in any circumstance!? This is so rough! You can find some nice and warm jackets without the employment of any animal. I went to Canada once, it was minus 40 and ladies did not wear any horrible fur!!!! One last thing: you know why Russian girls are so rough? Because they had no church, no religion, nothing at all! Hahaha! When you say that Russian girls have got spirituality I really cannot hear about that!! This is so silly and unreal! Hahaha!
    Being classy, does not mean force you femininity in such a ridiculous way (in Italy we say “Russian Style” )
    I give you one tip: you should be more similar to Italian woman to become a real woman. Even though to learn some things, one single life might not be enough!

  • A typical Finnish face in the first pic. I guess the myth has been spread from Russia. Just the sad truth of how Finnish and Turkic people are promoted as “Russian” or “Slavic” worldwide, which is false. I’ve never seen a picture of a truly Russian face in this kind of articles. As well as I don’t think that the true Russian (Slavic/Wendish, not to be confused with “speaking a Slavic language”) face will be classified as “pretty” by those lovers of small noses and petite figures, since Russian women naturally have long big noses and mostly can be classified as “masculine” along with the German women. Funny to look at how European men visiting Russia always say that “Russian women are so pretty” BS and still fail to spot a Russian girl sitting next to them while they’re deep into a loud talk about how hot those “Russian” girls are wearing their high heels in one of the most touristic spots like “Okhotny ryad” where those tourists are mostly brought by their travel companies. I bet most foreign men with “Russian” wives or girlfriends haven’t really even met a real Russian woman to have a slightest idea of how Russian women should look like ethnically. Mousy blonde thin hair (in Russia it practically is not even considered blonde), broad cheekbones, yellowish skin tone (or worse when it’s simply fake-tanned), full lips, small noses, slanted eyes and epicanthi, the list can be continued, is not what ethnic Russian women look like. A British visitor to my city posted on his blog about how surprising it was for him to find out that we have so many different faces in the city, when some are Nordic, while other are Asiatic. Gosh, this is how we have over 100 ethnic groups officially! Go figure that “Nordic” folks just have some Slavic blood while “Asiatic” folks are Finnish or Tatarian!

  • There is no such word as ‘sand-clock’ in English. The word you’re looking for is ‘hourglass’. Could you not have taken some more English classes before embarking upon a writing endeavor?

  • And another thing: Russian women always keep harping on about their femininity and their unparalleled generosity and kindness and spirituality. Well guess what, fur has nothing to do with any of these qualities! It is barbaric! There is nothing less feminine than wearing the product of an animal’s suffering on your back, just so you can show off that you’re wealthy enough to buy a fur coat. Because that’s exactly what it boils down to, it has nothing to do with the cold.

  • Nonsense. People are almost the same everwhere. If anything, I’d say russian women are rather materialistic, but that’s not unlike people in most countries.

  • Woh, I like this topic. Here is what I think. Russian women are the most stunning women on this planet. There are no ugly Russian women, you know? I mean, Russian women are tall and in excellent shape. What else do you need from a girl? Hope it helps.

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