Comments on: What marriage really does to people

By: Evan Roey

Evan Roey — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:55:00 +0000

I agree with you on this point and this issue is also very hot in other Asian countries!

By: axinia

axinia — Mon, 05 May 2008 23:17:51 +0000

SunnyInSanDiego, exellent comment!

I love this passage of yours: In our modern western culture both sexes are brought up in the exact same way to behave in the exact same way, so we are basically getting two yin forces or two provider/leader positions which are in constant competition. This devastates the relationship because there is no foundation and neither person involved gets any reward or reinforcement due to the competition between them.

It is very true, I never saw it that way, thanks!

By: SunnyInSanDiego

SunnyInSanDiego — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:28:48 +0000

Our modern western culture is such a completely devasting force on the sanctity of marriage.

There are two forces in most very successful and loving marriages. Similiar to the yin and yang forces, there is a provider/leader position which has been historically been the man. Then there is the supporter/nurturer which is generally the woman. When there is this harmony of forces the marriage is much stronger and is much less likely to fail.

In our modern western culture both sexes are brought up in the exact same way to behave in the exact same way, so we are basically getting two yin forces or two provider/leader positions which are in constant competition. This devastates the relationship because there is no foundation and neither person involved gets any reward or reinforcement due to the competition between them.

Axinia, your comment about where we will be 20 years from now reminds of a science fiction book that I read way back in high school. It was about a culture of people that grew all their babies in labs and simply ran around and had frivolous sex with whoever. Our society seems to get closer to this every day.

By: axinia

axinia — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:38:04 +0000

good word! Family is a basis and the future. Otherwise I dont know what kind of society we will see in 20 years, when the modern children grow up…

By: Jacque LeMoose

Jacque LeMoose — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:15:27 +0000

So I too believe in the tradition and meaning of marriage. I believe it to be honourable, but have learned lawyers and politicians have found it another way to break down our traditions for the sake of their money and votes.
The statistics in America are apalling and no seems to want to see the truth of it. Children need a family. It is not complicated. Family brings peace to children, men and women. To the community they live which leads to the town, city, state and country. As it is torn apart, so goes the society.
Wake up people. It is NOT rocket science.

By: axinia

axinia — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:48:13 +0000

@ Jay: thanks for your wonderful comment! india has a good long tradition of happy marriages, but I guess this “happiness” is somewhat different from the romantic picture of it in the West.

@Dyan: marriage can be good or bad, as anything in this life… I have both expereince and still can tell you – go for it! it is beautiful!

@ Bad Karma: intersting video, though not that easy to percept the orator

By: Dyan

Dyan — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:48:34 +0000

it has nothing to do with love. It is a reasonable bound to take care because the woman is more vulnerable and dependend because of getting the baby’s. There can very well be love and care without a marriage. It is even better to choose for each other every time you feel like it than with that paper that often makes a master and slave relationship.

By: Dyan

Dyan — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:37:28 +0000

Marriage can become an unwilled boundery

By: Jay

Jay — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 11:44:39 +0000

My sahaj sister gave me this website and I find it very wonderful. Thank you for all your lovely posts. One of my bhaiyas told me that people who have been in boy-girlfriend relationships have a tendency to divorce after marriage because in a courtship, both parties give their best. But when they start living together, they are unable to keep giving their best and they start getting disappointed with one another. On the other hand, in India, they develop their love as you mentioned and as they have no expectations, they have no disappointments. It’s perhaps due to attachments of the person’s character as he/she is during courtship. The solution is to be detached. Attachment causes suffering of the mind while detachment grants complete freedom. JSM.

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 16:52:38 +0000

Marriage is a mirror and to succeed I think it needs an ability to concede or compromise at times so there has to be a certain amount of give and take on both sides or it will ultimately fail. The Mr. Ego that Axinia talks about in previous posts certainly has to take a back seat sometimes for the greater good of the relationship.

By: What marriage really does to people « 1000petals

What marriage really does to people « 1000petals — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 06:27:13 +0000

[...] Russian there is a special word for it, “rodnoy” which means somebody who is of your own blood. Continue reading ‘What marriage really does to people’ [...]

By: axinia

axinia — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:55:17 +0000

right! but it is not nesessary that two people already love each other before marriage, dont you think? True love takes time, and the best thing is when it unfolds in a marriage, day by day as a gentle and poweful flower…

I guess the Indian marriage tradition is based on that principle. And from what I see in the WEst and compare it to my experiences and knowledge about Indian culture – such marriages are still much more successful than the western “love” marriages that often lead directly to divorce.

By: Bad Karma

Bad Karma — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 06:51:10 +0000

In India, it is said that it is the mother’s privilege to give birth to the daughter, and the father’s privilege to give his daughter away. In India marriage is very important – but it seems like these things are rushed sometimes, or are not done for the genuine reason of marriage – unifying two loving people.

By: axinia

axinia — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:04:10 +0000

Thanks to you, Nanny Y. – that is a trully wonderuful comment and very valuable, because of your experience.

By: Nanny Y.

Nanny Y. — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:56:20 +0000

This is a great part of marriage and one that my husband and I took very seriously in entering into our marriage. In recent months I lost my mother and the knowledge that my husband is my family and that his mother is mine too has been a great source of comfort. It is the only family we can actually choose! Thank you for another good post